Second Starts (EMISON)
by wonderluster1993
Summary: So Alison finds out she's pregnant, and Emily said she'd be there every step of the way. No matter what. Will she stay? Will she be there for Alison, or will she be there with Alison? Can Alison accept how she truly feels. A story about Emily and Alison navigating the uncharted waters of their future. Will it be together or will it all be too much. Set from 7x10 (Rated M)
1. CHAPTER ONE: A START TO REMEMBER

**Synopsis: So Alison finds out she's pregnant, and Emily said she'd be there every step of the way. No matter what. Will she stay? Will she be there for Alison, or will she be there with Alison? Can Alison accept how she truly feels. A story about Emily and Alison navigating the uncharted waters of their future. Will it be together or will it all be too much. Set from 7x10 (Rated M)**

 **Authors Note: Hey guys, so this is my first attempt at writing a story. I've read some phenomenal stories out there and have felt inspired. I hope you guys like this story. It won't be all smooth sailing for the girls. There'll be doubt, and there'll be obstacles and drama. It wouldn't be a good story without some ups and downs.**

 **Read at your own leisure!**

 ** _A START TO REMEMBER_**

With the movie playing in the background, Alison couldn't care any less if she tried. How did she end up here. Pregnant. Alone. Sad. This is not where she thought her life was going to go. When she returned to Rosewood, and after Charlotte was admitted to Welby Alison did something she had never let herself do. She started dreaming. She started to envision a life. One she really wanted. She wanted to fall madly in love. She wanted to start a family. She wanted to teach the future generation how to be better than she was.

Instead, her ex- and very dead husband seduced and betrayed her. To top it off he left her pregnant. With a child she's not really sure she's ready for.

She looked down at her stomach. Trying to find a way to understand everything. It's all overwhelming her. 'Hey' Emily says softly grabbing her attention. Alison used to be a person who wouldn't let a single tear drop. But as she gazed into the warm depths of Emily's eyes, she couldn't help but let one fall down her cheek. "It's going to be okay" Emily comforted. It was then Alison started to see it. Not everything in her life is bad.

She has Emily Catherine Fields. With so many different thoughts and feelings swirling around inside her, Alison leans in and places a very chaste, quick kiss to Emily who immediately pulls away.

Alison couldn't help the look of hurt that crossed her face at that rejection. Their eyes lock. "Ali, you're really vulnerable right now" Emily explains with hesitation. You can see it in her eyes, how conflicted she is.

"That's not why" Alison responds, and she can see the reluctance in Emily's eyes. "I promise" and for Emily, that's what she needed to hear. Alison never broke her promises, not to her. She may have left, but she was never gone.

So Emily lets Alison lean the whole way and and she lets go. She doesn't think about whether it's right or wrong. She just does what makes her happy in that moment. And right then, on Alison's couch, it was kissing Ali. She let's out a small sigh of contentment as her lips dance with the girl she's always been in love with, even when she thought she didn't.

They stay like this for a while. Content in the embrace. But also scared to break it. Scared

that they'll have to face everything again. Neither of them is entirely sure if they're ready for that. But have they every really been ready?

"Ali, I…" Emily tries to stop, but when she pulls away and sees the look of utter desperation in Ali's eyes, she leans back in and kisses her harder than before. It's like she's trying to tell her something, it's just she's not sure she has the words for it. She doesn't really understand what she's feeling just yet.

Eventually the two girls pull away from each other, trying to catch their breaths. They just stare at each other, not really sure what to say or do next. That's the thing though, they've always found it easier to speak with their eyes. Because they know they can't hide their souls from the other any more.

"Can you just…" Alison stops mid-sentence and looks down at their entwined hands. _When did that happen._

"What, Ali?" Emily softly asks, gently squeezing Ali's hand in encouragement. Part of her is terrified Alison will tell her to just leave, that she doesn't feel the same way.

"Hold me. Please" Ali lets out, her voice betraying her as it cracks.

Emily holds out her arms openly, "Of course, come here".

Alison falls into Emily's embrace and they lay on the couch. Ali's head resting on Emily's shoulder. They pull each other closer, like they're trying to hold on, and not get lost again. Alison lets out a sigh of relief as she nuzzles into Emily's neck. Emily closes her eyes to try and revel in the feeling of having Ali right there with her.

"I have something else to ask" Alison whispers into the darkness, the movie long since forgotten.

"Anything Ali, you can ask me anything" Emily says as she runs her fingers through her blonde locks.

"Can we talk, properly. In the daylight. And not after I just found out about my pregnancy" Alison says with more strength than she thought she could.

"Okay. You'd tell me if you weren't okay right? You wouldn't wait…"

"Considering the last couple of weeks Em, I'm doing pretty well. It's not that. I just. I want a clearer head before I say what I want to say. You don't have to worry about me" Alison says gently as she raises to look at Emily to reassure her.

"I'll always worry about you Ali. I always have, and I can assure you I always will" Emily declares as she looks up into those blue eyes she fell in love with years ago. She cups Alison's cheek and pulls her down for a firm, comforting kiss. Their lips meld together like they were made for each other.

They both knew they didn't want to go any further than what they had. They were both holding their feelings back. Right then, in that moment, it was okay.

Because Alison was safely in Emily's arms. And that's exactly how she felt. Safe from the world. She never felt like that with Elliot. And Emily she felt like she was exactly where she needed to be. She didn't know how to explain it, and frankly she didn't want to. As they both drifted off to sleep, Emily couldn't help but wonder.

 _What does she want to talk to me about?_


	2. CHAPTER TWO: IN THE BRIGHT LIGHT OF DAY

**_IN THE BRIGHT LIGHT OF DAY_**

 ** _AUTHORS NOTE: Thank you for the feedback and support guys. I am very excited to keep on with Second Starts. This is going to be one hell of a ride. I hope you guys are ready. I'm not planning on focusing too much on A.D. Although I am sure the bitch will show his/or her masked face here and there. I want to follow Emily and Alison's journey together. So I'm going to stop talking. Here's a new chapter to celebrate the fact that there's people out there that don't hate my writing!_**

The next morning Alison gently woke. She felt amazing. She's not slept like that in… she doesn't even remember when. She's normally been a really light sleeper. A history of having a masked psychopath after you will do that. But in Emily's arms she felt so safe. It's not like Alison could explain why. Emily had betrayed her too. She found that jacket and immediately thought the worst of her.

But all it took was one look into those sorry brown eyes and she was a goner. She was always like that with Emily. Even when she was that strong, bitchy Ali all those years ago. Emily had this special way of humanising her.

She does remember last night though, when she had been her most honest with Emily. She wasn't lying when she said she wanted to talk to her. Alison knows she's grown up, they both have. They should be able to talk about the elephant in the room, like adults. Maybe it won't go the way she wants it to. Maybe Emily really has moved on. _She is seeing Sabrina, right?._

Alison was ripped from her train of thought when she heard yelling from her front yard. _It's probably just Spencer and Em, they're always butting heads._ She slowly moved to her front window, and is a little shocked at what she's seeing. It's not Emily and Spencer. It's Emily and… Paige. _What the hell is she doing here?_

In the past, Alison would have gone out and stopped things. She knew she was stronger than Paige, she knew the kind of hold she had over her. Ever since she tricked Paige into leaving that letter filled with all of her feelings for Emily under that sign, she's had a certain hold over the brutish girl. So Alison just stayed put, watching the two girls who seemed at odds with each other. Alison couldn't help the surge of jealousy that jolted through her. She felt it every time she saw Emily with another girl. She should have listened to what that was telling her years ago. Paige got on her bike and sped off into the distance, _I hope she just stays gone._

Emily stays there for a second, just staring at the space Paige had just occupied. She takes a deep breath in and tries to calm herself down. Why was it that everyone was always telling her Alison was just using her. Why can't they all see what she sees? She hears a door open behind her and the sound of feet shuffling on wood. _Alison._

Emily turns around and sees the blonde girl standing there in her pyjamas and messy hair, eyes squinting at the harshness of the morning sun on her face. Emily couldn't help but think, even all messy she looked perfect. Em felt her heart skip a beat and couldn't help but smile at the vision before her.

"Is everything alright Em?" Alison asked, a hint of concern lacing her words.

"Mmm, yeah. It's nothing" Emily said as she stalked up to Alison on her porch.

"Don't do that Em, don't lie. I'm done with lies. I saw Paige arguing with you" Alison said gently. She wasn't accusing, she for the first time, just wanted an open discussion. Something she knows she's not been the best at doing.

Emily sighs, a little grateful she doesn't have to come up with some kind of story, "She was dropping some papers off for this new position I'm trying to get at the school. She got a little defensive when I told her I spent the night here last night?" Emily sits on one of the steps and smiles when she feels Alison join her.

"Why did she get so angry?" Alison asked gently.

"Because… She's always been jealous of you. Even when we were together, and happy, I think she always felt like she living in your shadow" Emily looks down at her hands, a little uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Are you seeing her? Is that why she got so angry?" Alison asked, a little scared at what the answer might be.

"No, not _seeing_. We had a drink together the other night. I've seen her sporadically since then. She's gunning for the same position as me at the school".

Alison relaxes internally, _thank-you god._

"Well I know you have nothing to worry about, you'll get that job Emily. It was made for you" Alison smiles, looking at the side of Emily's face.

Emily laughs and looks back at Alison, "You're just saying that because you'd rather work with me, than Paige".

"Not true!" Alison giddily exclaims, Emily raised one eyebrow in question. "Alight, fine. It's a little bit true. But I also think you would be so great with those girls. They need someone like you" Alison softens.

"Someone like me?" Emily responds. _What is she talking about, why is she looking at me like that?_

"You really don't see it?" Alison asks a little surprised. She takes Emily's hands and demands her attention. _I really need her to hear this,_ "Emily, you're _good_. And it's not just your skills as a swimmer. You're a good person. Your loyal, sometimes to a fault. You're open, and warm and loving and genuine. You're exactly the kind of leader they need".

"I don't know what to say to that" Emily responds quietly, mesmerised by the intensity of Alison's gaze.

"You don't have to say anything" Alison responds, and can't help the sting of nostalgia when she says that. It's exactly what she said to Emily all those years when she told her that she wasn't playing around when they were younger.

"Okay" Emily whispers. They sit there for a while. Just enjoying the warmth of the sun, and the other's company.

Emily was the one to break the silence. "Ali, you said last night…" she trailed off. Not wanting to scare the blonde off.

"I said that I wanted to talk to you. I was telling the truth. I do. But not just yet. I want to take you somewhere today" Alison smiles gently at the look of hope shining in Emily's eyes.

"You do?" she asks, hope lacing her voice.

"I do. But first, I'm going to make some us breakfast. What do you feel like?" Alison asks matter-of-factly.

"Anything?" Emily asks with a hint of child-like mischief.

"I'm going to regret asking you that aren't I?" Alison asks with a hint of hesitation.

"That depends" Emily smiles widens wolfishly. She stands and runs off into Alison's house.

 _What a child._ Alison thinks and she laughs, following the brunette into her kitchen. Soaking up the feeling of contentment she's feeling from that conversation. She can't quite describe it. But being that open with Emily made her feel… good. She can't help but wonder, with how she feels now. What she's going to feel after she talks to Emily later.

She laughs at the brunette sitting attentively at the kitchen counter waiting for Alison.

"If I'm cooking, you're helping Fields. You're going to learn how to cook without setting the kitchen on fire" Alison jokes in reference to Emily's days at The Brew.

"How did you hear about that?" Emily asks loudly. Mouth open in mock shock.

Alison gives off her signature smirk, "Oh, I have my ways".


	3. Chapter 3: Thirsty Hearts

**CHAPTER THREE: THIRSTY HEARTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS.**

 ** _AUTHORS NOTE: Another Update! One last fluffy chapter before I add a little drama. I'm only sort of trying to stick to cannon. After the next chapter or so, all bets are off. It'll be a little more AU. So who want's to know what Alison's so desperate to talk to Emily about?_**

 ** _Also, shout out to the Guest who gave me a little advice. Thank you. I don't know if you ended up reading any of this. But it made a difference._**

 ** _Listen to the song 'Thirsty Hearts' by Thorin Loeks on repeat. It's perfect for this chapter._**

"I'm a little proud of myself right now" Alison beams as she watches Emily man the pancakes. "You've made almost a whole batch of pancakes and my house is still standing. It must be a miracle!" She laughs as she watches Emily hide her frustration.

"Yeah, must be" Emily response is short, forgetting how smug Alison can be in the kitchen. She was hoping Ali was going to do all the work, and she could just reap the rewards at the end.

"Oh come on. Don't be like that. It was actually fun teaching you how to cook. I'd like to do it again" Alison smiles to herself as she sets to places at her breakfast bar.

"You would huh? I think I would too" Emily smiles at the thought of having more mornings like this in the future. Emily looks back to Alison from the stove and they smile at each other. There's this really contented, warm feeling surrounding them this morning, and they're more than happy to bask in that glow.

Emily takes the last of the pancakes off the stove and switches it off. She is not going to set anything on fire again. She places them between her and the blonde and they start constructing their breakfasts.

"These look amazing Em. We did really well. And I am famished…" Alison continues to ramble as she dresses her famous pancakes. Syrup, berries and a little cream. She looks at her work "Perfect" she smiles at her breakfast.

 _Yeah, she is._ Emily muses to herself. She knows she's playing with fire, but she's so tired of kidding herself when it comes to her feelings for Alison.

"So…" Emily interrupts Alison, "Where are you taking me today" she asks nonchalantly.

"Oh no. That's not how this is going to go" Alison says matter-of-factly as she shovels another mouthful of pancakes in.

"Oh" Emily looks at Ali in surprise. "Then tell me Ali, how is _this_ going to go?" Emily responds playfully.

"Well you see that's the thing about surprises. You're not supposed to know… until you're supposed to know. When we get there, you'll understand. Trust me" Alison explains lightly.

"I do" Emily responds thoughtfully. She can see it. There's something in Alison that's changed. Something deep within herself that's almost flipped a switch. She's not complaining, she likes this Alison. Very much.

"So does that mean if I eat this quicker, I'll find out sooner?" Emily asks with that playful lilt to her voice as she points to her half eaten breakfast.

"I guess. You'll also get indigestion. So slow down Killer, we'll get there. There's no rush" Alison to herself as she sees Emily trying to hide the fact that she's eating faster.

Emily was following Alison's lead through the woods. She's not really been out here since the Dollhouse days. After Charlotte was put in Welby, she flew off to California and didn't look back. The closest thing she had to home was Paige. Although in retrospect, that was probably what Emily was looking for in Paige then, not a lover, but something familiar. But walking through these woods again, Emily can feel a shiver jolt down her spine. She felt Alison squeeze her hand gently, telling her that she's okay. That she's safe.

Alison was another story altogether. She was a nervous wreck inside. The things she's about to tell Emily could go one of two ways. They could end up in her spending the rest of the night in bed with a tub of chunky-monkey. Or they could end up with her in bed doing something entirely different. She continued to lead the tanned brunette deeper and deeper into the woods. She started wondering when Emily was going to recognise where she was taking her.

Alison felt Emily stop behind her. _There it is. Took her long enough._ Alison's nerves surge to new heights in that moment. She turns around to see a very apprehensive brunette looking back at her, "Please just follow me Em" Alison pleads desperately. Emily nods, suddenly a little nervous as to why Alison was bringing her here, of all the places in Rosewood. This was their place, if they had one. They made it to their destination a few minutes later.

"The Kissing Rock? Ali why are we here?" Emily asked in a whispered tone. They were standing at either end of the rock, Emily could see their initials were still there from where she was standing. Encased in a red heart. Forever.

Alison took a big deep breath in, _it's now or never Ali._ "I wanted to talk to you remember. Properly".

"Out in the middle of the woods?" Emily was a little confused.

"No. Well, technically yes. But no. When I thought about telling you last night in my living room, it didn't feel right. Then I thought about this place. About how we were the last time we were here all those years ago. Aaa-nn-d it seemed like the perfect place" Alison explained with a nervousness to her voice.

"Alison…" Emily started, but was quickly interrupted.

"Please just let me get this out. And if you want to forget I ever said it. We can. I can do that. But please let me have this one chance to be completely honest with you. You deserve that" Emily nodded, giving Alison the floor.

Alison smiled in thanks, "I've gone over and over and over again in my head trying to figure out how I was going to talk to you about this. Whether I was going to. But I came to realisation that I didn't have a choice. I… I have feelings for you Emily. Honest-to-god feelings for you. I always have. I was so, so scared of them when we were teenagers. Especially before I disappeared. I didn't know what they meant, or how to deal with them. So I put up a guard. And not a day goes by that I don't hate myself for that" Alison takes a second to look at Emily. There's a guarded expression on her face, she hasn't bolted yet, so she keeps going.

"When I was gone, it was then that I realised I could run from everything and everyone. But you, I couldn't run from you. You had consumed me, but I couldn't come back. It wasn't safe for me. Then I heard about A terrorising you girls and I knew I had to find a way to keep you girls safe. Especially you, my sweet Emily" she says as she takes a tentative step closer to the brunette.

Who at this point, Emily wasn't sure if she was breathing or not. She was stunned. The girl she's been in love with since she was in middle school is standing there, in the middle of the day telling her what she's always wanted to hear. It was so surreal.

"And then, I came back. You convinced me to come back. And you were different. Stronger, and I hated myself that I was one of the reasons you changed so much. Until I saw how amazing you turned out. Strong in the best ways, and you were still the sweet girl I knew, you just. I think you were protecting yourself, you were protecting your heart. Am I close? Alison asks, trying to make sure Emily was still following.

"Yes" she lets out in a cracked whisper.

"That night in my bedroom, Emily. God, that was the best night of my life. Being with you like that was… life affirming. It was like I was finally home. Then the Mona Thing happened, and you couldn't look at me the same. You know the rest. When I was in prison I had a lot of time to think. I realised I wasn't going to have you in the way I wanted. In the end, we were barely friends. I learnt how to be okay with that over time. I threw myself into learning about Charlotte. I went to school. I met… him. I thought I had moved on. I thought I had a shot of being happy. It wasn't until I saw you again after all these years that I realised I wasn't ever happy. Not like I am when I'm with you. And I am, Emily. I am so happy when I'm with you. It's hard to explain. It's like I'm whole and better with you" Alison finishes her declaration and the two girls just stare at each other. Frozen in the moment.

"Say something" Alison whispers in fear, her voice trembling, "Please".

Emily finally moves the few steps until she's toe to toe with Alison, and she rests her forehead on the blondes.

"I never thought you _really_ felt that way" she responded in a whisper laced with wonder.

"Of course I did, how could I not" Alison says, basking in the moment, "How… How do you feel now?" she asks, terrified the answer isn't going to be what she wants to hear.

"Alison, I think you know" Emily says as she brings her hands up and cups the blondes cheeks. They look at each other, both with unshed tears in their eyes. Alison leans in and their lips meet.

Their lips dance together like they've been kissing for years. In a weird way, it feels like it's their first kiss all over again. Alison steps closer into the brunette, her hands holding the other girls hips closer to her body. With that Emily finally deepens the kiss. She wants Alison to feel it, in that kiss. She wants her to feel how deep her feelings are. How they never really left her. Alison's tongue swipes Emily's bottom lip and the brunette allows her entrance with a moan.

Alison could feel it. The eyes of past lovers watching them kissing, and she couldn't help but think how perfect this moment is. How happy she is that Emily still has those feelings for her. But there's one thing she still needs. So she pulls back from the kiss reluctantly. As she pulls back Emily's eyes were still closed. She can't help but look at the brunette in wonder. _She looks so beautiful right now._

"Em, I need to hear you say it. Please. I need-" Emily takes a finger and places it on her heart-shaped lips.

"I still have feelings for you too Ali. I always did. Whatever happened, all of that stuff. Nothing could have happened that would have changed how I feel about you. You will always be apart of me" she says with some much certainty Alison lets a tear shed. Emily wipes it away, much like she did last night. "I hope that's a happy tear".

"The happiest" Alison responds before the leans in to another solid, deep kiss. They stay like that in the woods. Kissing in their spot. With the early afternoon sun touching them through the leaves.

Emily's phone rings and disturbs the moment. She looks at the caller ID and sighs, "Ali, it's Spencer" Emily explains with a huff.

"Answer it" Alison instructs, Emily looks back to make sure. "Em, answer it. It's okay. I've said what I needed to say".

"Spencer, hey. Is everything okay?" Emily asks, already knowing the answer. None of them were really okay.

"Where the hell are you Emily? We need you here. And do you have any idea where Ali is? She's not picking up either" Alison looked at her phone and saw all the missed calls, _whoops._

"Em, put it on speaker" Alison instructs, Emily does as she's asked. "I'm right here Spence. What do you need. Breathe, and tell us what you need" Alison tries to calm the very high strung brunette on the phone.

"Hanna has something she wants to talk to us about. Do you two ever look at your phones?" Spencer huffs into the speaker.

"Oh relax, well be there in a little bit. Hanna can hang on twenty minutes, are you in the Barn" Alison responds shortly.

"Yes, can you hurry up. Please" Spencer says desperately.

"Alright Spence, we'll see you soon" Emily says and ends the call. "We better get going" Emily says as she takes Alison's hand as they make their way back to the car. When they reach it, Alison pulls Emily back and holds her by the back of the neck. "What are yo-" before Emily can finish, Alison's lips are on hers. They share a long, languid kiss and as they both pull back they open their eyes simultaneously and stare at each other.

"Now, get in the car Fields. Or you can explain to Spencer why we're late" the brunette composes herself.

"Y-Yeah, I'm coming" Emily looks up at the sky and mouths a 'thank-you' to whatever god or gods are up there for what just happened. Finally. She got the girl.


	4. Chapter 4: A Dark Night

**CHAPTER FOUR: A DARK NIGHT**

 **AUTHORS NOTE: I'm so glad you guys are liking where I'm taking this story! I'll tell you all now, after this chapter it's going to be up to me. Because well, no one knows what really happens after our favourite Hastings get's shot. The story from that point on is up to my own creative licence. And the direction I want to take it in, feels real. It feels honest. It'll hurt for a while, just the thought of writing it scares me a little. I won't lie, I love writing happy Emison. But for this to be an interesting,** ** _real_** **story, there has to be some drama, some questioning, and some Emily and Alison just being plain stubborn. Because if there's anything our favourite residents of Rosewood are, it's really freaking stubborn. I've also stupidly started writing another, very angsty story for Emison. Go check it out.**

 **Alas, I'll shut myself up and let you read on. Enjoy. Leave feedback if you like, I listen to everything you say.**

"Thank you lord you're finally here!" Hanna exclaims as Emily and Alison enter the Hastings Barn. "Get over here, we've got a problem" Hanna grabs Emily's arm and yanks her to the kitchen bench.

"Jesus Hanna, relax" Emily says taking her now very sore arm back. The five girls all sit around the kitchen as Hanna explains how she kidnapped Noel and has him tied up in a dirty motel room, all for nothing apparently. After they decide to go and have a little chat with Noel, the girls record a conversation as a decoy for the cops.

"You know, I really don't think it would matter if we play this or not" Aria states as they set the recording to repeat.

"And why is that Aria" Alison says in an annoyed tone.

"Have you met the Rosewood Police? They're… not the most attentive members of law enforcement. Or have you forgotten what happened to you a few days ago?" Aria snaps back.

"You two, no fighting. Not now. We've got to go talk to Noel and make him tell us everything he knows" Hanna interrupts.

"How Hanna? How are you planning on getting any information from one of the most stubborn men in Rosewood. Or are we forgetting who Noel is?" Emily snarks.

"Don't worry about that. I've got it under control" Hanna response quickly as she packs her bag.

"Oh yeah, under control. You call having Noel Kahn tied up in a motel room _under control?_ " Spencer asks incredulously.

"Alright, everyone. Time out!" Alison says in her teacher voice. Emily couldn't help but find it a little hot. _Not now Fields._

"We are not school children Ali" Spencer snaps back petulantly.

"No? Then why are we all arguing like teenagers. I swear we had it together better back then" Alison responds back. "Can we all just take a breath and calm down before we go see Noel" the all nod in agreement. "Great, now who's driving?" she asks.

"Not Hanna" Emily, Spencer and Aria all respond at the same time. Which makes everyone but Hanna laugh.

"Oh real mature guys, Spencer. You drive" Hanna throws Spencer's keys at her as she makes her way for the young Hasting's car. Spencer picks up her car keys with with a chuckle. They all follow suit behind Hanna.

They arrive at the motel and they head straight for the room Hanna has Noel in. They make it to the door of the motel room that looks like it's seen better days.

"Okay you like remembered to water and feel him right?" Aria asks hesitantly.

"Of course" Hanna answers shortly as she opens the door. They all follow her in. Emily looks around the room and makes a face. _This place smells disgusting._

"Did you remember to tie him up!" Spencer booms, as they all file into the room and see the chair Noel was once occupying, empty.

"Oh my god" Hanna breaths out, she definitely remembers having him tied up when she left him with Mona.

"Oh this is bad. This is really bad. This really not very good" Aria says trying to wrap her head around what's happening. Hanna looks at the tripod to see that the camera is gone.

"Oh my god, he can make it look like I kidnapped him" Hanna says in worry.

"You did kidnap him Hanna!" Alison spits back in frustration. She's angry that not only has Hanna got herself into this position, she's gotten them all into this bad spot, and they had no say over any of it.

"Well now he can prove it!" she spits back harshly. As soon as Hanna says that, they all hear their phones go off. Which is almost always a bad thing.

"1465 Elm Street" Aria read out loud. "10pm, Bitches" she continues.

"Let's swap. My thumb drive for your camera" Hanna continues. They all feel this sinking feeling hit their stomachs. Alison leaves the motel room, suddenly needing fresh air. Spencer, Aria and Hanna stay in the room arguing with each other, but Emily follows the blonde outside.

"Hey, are you okay?" Emily ask softly as she approaches Alison. She's suddenly feeling more protective of her than she previously has.

"Okay? Emily none of this is okay! I just want to be done with it. I thought we _were_ done with it. I… I have other things to worry about now. It's not just about me'' Alison finishes quietly as she looks down at her torso. It then clicks for Emily.

"Oh Ali. Okay. I understand. But we need to do this. If we want to finish this, we have to play along. Do you understand that?" Emily softly comforts the blonde. Alison nods and falls into an embrace with Emily. She sighs as she feels everything that is purely Emily, surround her.

"Is everything okay out here" Spencer interrupts, _she's very good at doing that_ , Alison muses. Spencer's eyes shifting between Emily and Alison's trying to get a read of what was going on. She's always suspected that there's been more to their friendship than meets the eye.

"Yeah, I just got a little overwhelmed. This is… This is all just a bit insane" Alison explains as she pulls back from her hug with Emily.

"Alright, well. We're ready to go. This place isn't too far from the motel, so we're going to head off there now. Get it over and done with, you know?" Spencer fills the girls in. The both nod and make their way to the car. Emily and Alison sit together in the back seat with a very oblivious Aria. Emily takes Alison's hand and hold it, for support, to feel connected. She doesn't know why, they've always just gravitated towards each other like that in times like this. They look at each other for a long moment, confirming that the other is there and okay. Alison takes a deep breath and faces forward trying to pump herself up for what's to come. Emily just looks at their intertwined hands and prays that they make it through this in one piece.

 ** _BANG._** That's all Alison could hear. One single gunshot that rang out through the building. She was in shock. Sure Jenna had a gun and she was a little crazy. But Alison really didn't think Jenna was going to pull that trigger. She started to panic, because she felt okay. She stopped for a second to feel around. _You're okay Ali._ The next thing that ran through her mind. "Emily" she hadn't realised she said it out loud until she felt the brunette's hands encase her face. "I'm here Ali, we're okay" she says as she encompasses the blonde in a tight hug. Emily was so sure when she heard that shot that Jenna had finally got her revenge on Ali.

Alison looked around to do a head check. "Emily" she whispered to herself. She whipped her head around, "Aria" she breathed out, she looked past the tiny brunette to see a petrified blonde behind her, "Hanna" she said in relief. Alison whipped her head around looking for the youngest Hastings. She did follow her down, she was sure of it. "Where… Where's Spencer?" she said louder then she should have.

The other three girls all looked around frantically looking for their best-friend. Simultaneously a shock of panic passed through each of the girls as the realised that Spencer was the one following all of them. And she wasn't down stairs.

"Spencer!" Ali yelled as loud as she could as she bolted up the stairs, followed quickly by the other girls. They all made it to the top of the stairs and was met with the body of Noel Kahn, just his body… no head, that was downstairs. _Not now Ali._

She scanned the hallway and saw no sign of Spencer. They all immediately split into different rooms looking for the other girl, after all these years, they didn't need to consult with each other as to what they should do next. They've learnt to do now, think later.

Alison makes it to a creepy room filled with baby cots and sees a dark figure hovering over _, Spencer. "_ In here!" Ali yells at the top of her lungs, calling her other best friends to the very obviously shot brunette.

She was shocked to see Mary Drake hovering over Spencer as she rushed to her side, "Mary?" _what is she even doing here?_ She was followed closely by Emily, Aria and Hanna. "Spencer, oh my god", "Oh my god! What did you do?!", "Spence!" she heard the other girls say in despair. Alison wasn't in enough shock to realise her aunt was singing a lullaby to Spencer.

"Please don't leave me" Mary says in desperation, holding her hand to Spencer's gunshot wound. "Spencer. I would never hurt you" Alison was so confused right now, what was Mary talking about. Her thought's were interrupted by Mary's shocking revelation, "I'm your mother" she says, and all four girls heads snapped up to Mary. Alison froze when she heard that. _Did… did she just say that._

"She needs a hospital!" Emily yells clearly scared and frustrated. She could see the look on Ali's face, and she knew what was going on in that beautiful mind of her's. But right now, she needed her friend to not die. Everything else she'll deal with later. She saw Aria pull out her phone and look down.

"We have no service!" Aria yells as she throws her phone across the room.

 _Great,_ Emily thinks to herself in a mild panic.

Alison hasn't spoken since they left the blind institute. They've been sitting in the waiting room for hours. She sat in the corner of the room with her eyes closed. She felt like if she opened them, it'd be real. And she's not too sure she's ready to deal with everything. So sitting there with her eyes closed, and breathing. That she can do. A lot had just happened. Noel… his head. His head was cut off. His whole head. _Why is no one talking about his head?_ Alison found that the least disturbing part of the whole debacle. Not only was Jenna walking around like a blind madman with a gun. She actually _shot_ Spencer. Alison knew she had a grudge against her, but she never thought Jenna would actually hurt the other girls. Now Spencer is in surgery getting a hole in her shoulder sown up. Oh and let's not forget the little bombshell Mary let out about Spencer. _What the hell is happening._ Alison thought as she felt someone sit next to her. _Emily._

"Hey. I got you some coco. You need to have something" Emily encourages. She's a little worried about Alison. Who just shakes her head. "Ali, remember, it's not just you anymore. You need to have something" Emily pleads quietly. She's not going to mention that she can't stomach anything either. She was the one who punched Noel, who then fell onto that axe, _No, Emily. Just don't think about that. You have to worry about Ali right now._

The blonde opens her eyes and takes the cup. Alison just rolls her eyes and takes a sip of he hot coco. "Where did you get this from?" she asks, _man that's some good coco._ All the girls look up at Alison who has finally spoken.

Emily smiles, "There's a little cafe down the street. I didn't think you'd want to have crappy hospital coco" they stare at each other for a long moment before they hear Hanna clearing her throat. The two look up to see Spencer's surgeon heading their way.

"Is she okay?", "How is she?", "Can we see her?", "She's okay right?", the four girls all rush out at the same time. The doctor who is more than used to friends being like this put her hands up to calm the girls down.

"She's out. She's in recovery right now. She might be there for a while girls, so maybe you should go home and get some rest. She's going to be okay. But she's got a long recovery ahead of her" they all let out a collective sigh and they watch as the doctor makes her way back into the hospital.

"Alright, we should go. We need some sleep" Aria says and all the girls agree with her.

"I'll drive" Emily offers, as she takes Alison's hand and starts to walk towards the parking lot.

Hanna looks at their hands and leans to Aria, "Are they a couple now or something?" she asks in a hushed whisper.

Aria looks at the two girls and doesn't see it, "Hanna, have you met those two?. They're always holding hands". Aria watches them for a moment and looks at how their hands are connected. _Maybe Hanna's right…_


	5. Chapter 5: Not A Word in Sight

**CHAPTER FIVE: NOT A WORD IN SIGHT**

 **AUTHORS NOTE: I really hope you guys like this chapter. I felt like Alison needed to feel some sense of control after learning what she did about Mary and Spencer. The only thing she's sure of at this point are her feelings for Emily. Also this chapter is best listening to the song 'Burn' by Branches. Do yourself a favour and listen to it whilst reading it.**

They make their way into Alison's house after Emily dropped the other two off at Hanna's loft. Alison continues up to her old bedroom without saying anything. This silent act from Alison is starting to really worry Emily. She sighs and follows Alison up to her room a few minutes later. Hoping all she needed was a few moments to herself. When she makes it to Alison's room, she's met with the blonde staring out her window. She knows what she's looking at. Spencer's bedroom. Emily knows Alison well enough to know what's going through her head right now. She know's Alison is standing there silently blaming herself. She knows that's why she's been so quiet. Because if she speaks, she'll have to listen to every one tell her it isn't her fault. Which is something she just doesn't want to hear right now.

Alison is so lost in thought that she jumps in surprise when she feels two arms wrap around her waist. "It's okay Ali, it's just me" Emily husks into her ear warmly. Alison calms instantly into the embrace. "How are you feeling?" Emily asks tentatively.

"I-Do you want an honest answer? Because tonight I really don't feel like talking about it" she says honestly. Which Emily accepts. She would much rather the guarded truth than an outright lie.

So instead of pushing it Emily responds with a tighter embrace and a kiss behind Alison's ear. This causes Alison to close her eyes in pleasure. She turns around in Emily's arms and looks deeply into her eyes. "Kiss me" she whispers, and Emily just looks at her. "I mean it Em, I need you to kiss me. Kiss me and make me believe it's all going to be okay" she pleads desperately. Emily snaps back to reality and obliges with no complaints.

She leans in and softly melds her lips to Ali's. Alison deepens the kiss immediately and Emily lets her. She lets the blonde take complete control.

She can feel Alison moving her backwards. She can feel those beautiful hands tangle themselves in her brown locks. She can feel the back of her knees hit Alison's old bed. The one she hasn't been in since _their night._ Alison pulls back from the kiss and silently asks Emily if she can continue. Emily responds with a small smile and another kiss. Alison takes that as her green-light so she grabs the brunettes jacket and pushes it off her shoulders. She takes Emily's shirt and lift's it over her head. Taking her bra shortly after. She smiles at how beautiful the girl in front of her is.

Emily takes a leaf out of Alison's book and begins taking her blouse off. She can't help but find Alison so mesmerising when she's like this. She's just letting herself get totally lost in the moment. When her shirt is off, Alison guides Emily back on her bed until they're at the head. Alison hovers over Emily for a moment, she just wants to soak this moment in. She doesn't want this to be rushed, or frenzied.

She moves so she's straddling Emily's legs and starts to unbutton the other girl's jeans. She can see the hooded look in Emily's eyes, how her eyes look almost black with need. She can see how hard the brunette is trying to keep her breathing controlled. Their eyes lock when Alison pulls her jeans down slowly, followed by her panties. The blonde stands to admire the girls in front of her. She starts slowly stripping the rest of her clothes in front of Emily, who is now on her elbows, entranced by what she's witnessing. As Alison rids the last of her clothes she smiles widely. This is it. This what she's always wanted.

"You are so beautiful" Emily whispers as she watches Ali crawl up the bed until she's hovering totally over her. "So, so beautiful" she repeats in a hushed tone as she moves Ali's blonde locks out of the way. She's a little overwhelmed with the way Alison is looking at her. She's never seen her look at her like this, and it's taking her breath away.

"No, Emily. You're beautiful. Every part of you" she says with certainty as she leans down and attaches her lips to the other girls. Emily sighs into the kiss, and moans lightly as Alison rests her weight on top of her. Alison joins with a moan, the feeling of their bodies being so connected has lit an inferno deep within her soul. This is unlike anything either girl has ever felt before. Alison can feel Emily's hands wandering down her back, and sighs at how nice it feels. But she needs more, she wants to feel completely connected to the other girl.

Emily shudders slightly when she feels Alison's hips begin to rock back and forth, and quickly joins as their hips slowly dance with each other. Alison moans loudly when she feels Emily's hands starting to massage her breasts. "Emily" she moans again.

Before Emily could ask what it was that Alison wanted, she felt the blonde on top of her shift her weight and her legs until their centres started kissing too.

"Alison, oh god" Emily whimpered at feeling their centres sliding together. They begin to slowly pick up the pace.

"Can, oh god. Can you come like this?" Alison whispers into Emily's neck. Their pace starting to really pick up speed as they hold onto each other like a life force.

"I, shit. I- Yes. Ali, oh god. Yes" Emily responds with a nod as her arms wrap tightly around the blondes waist to try and anchor herself to the other girl. The blonde took that as a challenge. Sure she could make Emily reach that high, but she didn't want ordinary. Nothing about Emily was ordinary, Alison believed she deserved nothing less than other worldly.

"You feel so good Em" she says with a strength she didn't think she had in her. They both inhale sharply as their clits meet. "Emily" Alison says in desperation, needing to come. Trying to keep a control of her own body, that at this point feels like she's trying to contain a thousand tiny explosions. Alison decides to add to the brunettes pleasure.

"Ali, oh-oh god" Emily whispers into her ear. Not able to raise her voice. She was so overwhelmed by what she was experiencing and feeling both physically and emotionally that all she could manage was that rambled whisper. Alison pulls back from the safety of the space on Emily's neck and looks straight into her eyes.

"Keep your eyes open, please" she whispers. As she makes that gentle demand, Alison snakes a hand down to Emily's centre, and without the other girl realising until it was happening, she slowly, torturously slides two fingers inside of the tanned woman. Alison can only manage a small smile at how amazing it feels to be inside Emily after all this time, how incredible it feels to have her underneath her.

"Ali, th- that feels, I - I'm going to. I'm gon-" Emily didn't know how she was still breathing at this point. As Alison began to speed up her face, she felt like she was losing grip on her reality. She knew that being with Alison like this would be amazing, that it would _feel_ amazing, but amazing isn't what she was experiencing right now. This was completely life-altering. As she felt Alison's hot breaths on her neck, and the low moans in ear, and her beautiful fingers moving in and out of her in the most delicious way. She knew right then, in the height of their passion, that nothing was ever going to be the same. Not between the two of them, and not for herself. It was almost as if she could feel everything changing around her in slow motion, and even if she could do something about it, she knew she would never _want_ to.

She wanted Alison to feel what she was feeling. She wanted them to both to feel that connection. So she follows the beautiful blonde's lead and moves her hand southwards. Slowly, feeling all of Alison. From her delicious curves, all the way to the strong woman warm centre, where she thrusts two fingers into Alison and silently congratulates herself at the sound that followed.

"Em-Emily" Alison lets out in a sexy, breathy moan. She wasn't anticipating Emily's move, but she welcomed it immediately. It was all she needed. She could feel herself about to completely explode.

"Together" Alison commanded in a pant as she leant down and connected her lips with Emily. She pulled back to let Emily respond with a moaned "Together". It wasn't long until all they could manage was ragged, harsh breaths and loud, languid moans. Then that inferno building in the depths of their cores exploded, simultaneously. They both moaned loudly as they held onto each other whilst the rode out the highs of their orgasms.

They both rode out their highs, and when they finished Alison collapsed on top of the brunette, too exhausted to move. They lay like that for what could have happily been a forever. They eventually pulled out of each other, albeit Emily did it reluctantly. Alison fell to the side and melted into the side of Emily's hot body. They laid there. Just listening to the sound of the others breathing. Alison could hear Emily's heartbeat from her position, _that, that is the most beautiful sound in the world_. Alison sighed in contentment when she felt Emily drawing lightly on her back. She cuddles further into the brunette side.

"Alison, are you-" with her eyes still closed, and her face still hidden in her favourite place she silences Emily with a single finger and smiles in her hiding spot.

"Emily. I have never, ever, ever, ever been better than I am right in this minute" She can feel Emily's smile on her finger so she moves it. She feels the brunette trying to find something. She was going to move to see what she was looking for, but feels her comforter hit her back.

"Neither have I Ali. You -" Emily stops when she feels a whimper catch in her throat. At that Alison looks up at her to make sure she's okay. Emily looks down at her with a smile on her face and eyes filled with tears. "I have never been this happy before. I feel a little guilty".

Alison wipes a few of the tears of the taller girls cheeks. "Shh, no. Don't do that. Don't feel guilty for feeling happy. You deserve this more than anyone I know. _Please_ tell me you're hearing that" Alison says with so much strength it overwhelms Emily.

All she can let out is a small nod. "Good" Alison says as she returns to her spot. Eventually she felt Emily's fingers slow to a stop and her breathing even out. Alison soon follows with a small smile on her face.

She got the girl.


	6. Chapter 6: Early Morning Confessions

**_CHAPTER SIX: EARLY MORNING CONFESSION_**

 ** _AUTHORS NOTE: Hey y'all. Loving all the love you guys are giving me. Hopefully this is all meeting your expectations. The next few chapters won't be too dramatic. They're setting up something, which will be angsty and will hurt. Enjoy the joy whilst you can._**

She could feel the morning sun hitting her naked back, and she could feel herself slowly rousing to the world. As she slowly came to her senses she could feel the most delicious weight holding onto her. Emily slowly opened her eyes and turned her head slightly so she could see her favourite thing in the world. A sleep mussed Alison. The one she was looking at right now, looked different. A good kind of different. It was like she was sleeping deeper, and she had the most adorable little smile on her face. Which made Emily's heart soar. It was so comforting to see Alison like this. Like she was finding some kind of peace, that she could escape her life for a little while.

Alison could feel the brunette watching her. She woke up before the brunette, she just didn't want to disturb the peace. She felt like what happened last night had changed her. It had changed how she saw the world. The things she thought were important, seemed so insignificant to her now. _She's the only thing that matters._ After a while, Alison decided that she had had enough of Emily staring at her. "Good morning beautiful" she said in a husky morning voice, eyes still close and that signature smirk painted on her face.

Emily jumped a little, not expecting that the girl next to her was awake. Judging from that look on Alison's face, she's been awake for a while. "Morning" she says with a gentle smile as she reaches in and leaves a slow, chaste kiss on Alison's lips.

The stare at each other for a while in silent wonder. Both thinking the same thing without having to say it. They were so happy in that moment, in an almost overwhelming kind of way. In a surreal, is-this-really-happening kind of way. Alison melts further into Emily, intwining their legs. At that movement, Emily lets out a small moan.

"Last night was…" Alison starts, struggling to find a way to accurately describe what last night was.

"It was" Emily cups her cheek and uses her thumb to gently stroke her jaw. "Ali, last night was the best night of my life. I want you to know that" she said earnestly. Ali juts nods in agreement as she places another lingering kiss to the brunettes lips. It's like she's addicted to kissing Emily. It's an addiction she'll never want to break. If she spends the rest of her life doing that, she can safely say that it would be a life well lived.

"I have something I want to confess though. I'm worried it's going to ruin this moment" Alison whispers, feeling butterflies surging through her stomach. She needs to say this, if she's going to respect being honest with Emily about everything. She can't keep this in any longer. Not when Emily is looking at her like that. The brunette doesn't say anything, she just stares back openly. She's not entirely used to Alison being so unguarded.

"I've wanted to be with you like that since the start of high school. I was just scared of what it all meant that I ignored it. Do you realise how hard that was? The more you grew, the more flawless you became" Alison looks down at their hands playing with each other, she can't handle being under the intense gaze from those brown eyes. They have this way of seeing all of you, you can't hide from Emily when she's looking at you like that.

"Why couldn't you talk to me about this back then Ali? I was just as scared as you" Emily says with a slight tremble to her voice.

"I didn't deserve you" Alison says quietly and Emily's heart breaks a little at the confession. She knows Alison is sensitive when it comes to talking about her past. She knows the blonde will always hold onto those feelings of shame.

"Ali, that's not true. You need to stop blaming yourself for who you were back then. We were all lost and scared. But when it comes to whether you were deserving, you have always been that person. That will never change" Emily finishes and hears the blonde sniff. Obviously trying hide her emotions. She takes Alison's cheek and lifts it so they're looking at each other. "Don't do that, don't cry" Emily whispers as she leans in and lands a solid kiss to the other girls lips. She pulls back to look into Alison's eyes again and is heartbroken at what she sees. She can see Alison trying to hold it all in, trying to not let her emotions consume her. So she leans in and lets her lips mould to Alison's. Emily moves to rest herself lightly on top of the blonde so she can get her point across.

"Ali, you're not the only one who regrets the past" she says staring right in to Alison's ocean deep eyes, that are glistening from her unshed tears. "I should have told you earlier how I felt. I should have been honest with you. Things might have been so much more different if I was a stronger person then. We all wish we did things differently. We're only human".

Alison wasn't used to hearing things like that. She has never been told that someone else understood why she did the things she did. Sure she gets it. She was young and despite what she thought back then, she was really naive about the world. Alison doesn't know how to respond to that, partly because she's not sure she believes it. So she just nods and pushes the brunettes locks out behind her ears.

"What do you want to do today? We can do anything you want. You name it, we'll do it" Emily says, sensing that they needed to shift the conversation to lighter topics. She knows she's done the right thing when she see's a small smile on Alison's face. She smiles back as she moves back to lay next to the blonde. Resting on her side, with her head in her hand so she can still look down at the radiance that is morning Ali. _I think this is my favourite Ali, she's so cute like this._

"Anything at all?" The blonde questions cheekily. The brunette nods back tentatively, a little worried about what she's gotten herself into. "What if I just want to stay here all day?" Alison smiles at the chuckle that emanates from Emily's mouth.

"Well, I wouldn't have any objections to that. I could think of a few things we could do to pass the time" Emily responds back in a husky tone. At that Alison feels a tug low in her stomach.

"Oh really? Do tell Fields" the blonde teases back and squeals when Emily pulls her on top of her and starts running her strong hands down the blondes back.

"I think you have a pretty good idea" Emily teases as she starts a path of open mouth kisses from the blondes pulse point to one of her breasts. Alison lets out a breathy moan and starts to slowly grind her centre on the brunette's thigh that she was straddling.

"Emily, that… that feels so good" she husks out. She could be like this forever, just her and her mermaid. She's never felt so connected to another person, especially not like this. She wants to heighten that connection, she wants Emily to feel as good as she does. She wants Emily to know how she feels when they're together. So she slowly starts moving her body down the flawless body of the tanned woman below her.

She takes one of Emily's nipples into her mouth and sucks hard, letting it out with a pop. She tends to this breast whilst one of her hands snakes down to Emily's centre. "Em, god. You're so wet" she says in a husked moan.

"You Ali, you do this to me. God you're so sexy, how could you not?" Emily says, trying to control her breathing at the sensation of the blondes fingers working their way through her folds. She groans in frustration when she feels Alison move her hands away from whirr she wants them most. Before she had a chance to say anything, Alison silences her with a single finger to the lips. Emily smirks at the gesture that's fast becoming their _thing_.

"Patience baby. We'll get there" Alison smirks as she moves her finger away to kiss Emily with a passion that took the brunettes breath away. The feeling of their tongues dancing with each other is pure bliss for both girls. Alison pulls back from the kiss and slowly, torturously makes her way down the brunettes body, laying hot open mouthed kisses along the way. Emily's breath hitches when she realises what the goddess above her was doing.

Finally she felt the blondes tongue hit her wet folds and she lets out the most delicious moan Alison has ever heard. Encouraged by that reaction, Alison easily finds Emily's clit and starts swiping it with her tongue in long, drawn out licks.

"Ali, oh my- oh god. You feel incred-" Emily couldn't finish her incoherent sentence as the blonde begins sucking on her clit. She reaches up for Emily's hand, wanting to have that connection. Emily was starting to feel that familiar explosion build up low in her gut.

"Ali, I… I" before Emily could voice her request, Alison used her free hand to slip two fingers into the brunette and started pumping them in and out of her centre. She knew she had done the right thing when Emily responded with "Oh fuck, Ali!".

Alison opened her eyes and looked up to see a pair of almost black eyes staring back at her. She pulls back for a second, "Keep your eyes open Em, look at me" and immediately goes back to licking, sucking and nipping at the brunettes swollen bundle of nerves.

Emily was fast become overwhelmed with that Alison was doing to her body. "Ali, I'm gon- I'm gonna come" she says quickly.

"Not yet Em, not until I say so" Alison smirks at the long, frustrated groan that comes from Emily's mouth. She continues to pump her fingers in and out of Emily's centre whilst working the brunettes clit. She could feel the girl underneath her struggling to hold on, and the almost frantic, "Ali!" that then followed was enough for Alison to let Emily out of her misery. "Now baby. Now".

When Emily heard her permission was granted, she let lose and felt bolt of energy rush through her, from the outside in. She gripped onto Alison's hand as she rode out her earth-shattering orgasm. Alison slowed her hand down, and started lapping at the juices flowing from the beautiful girl below her.

Eventually she stopped and worked her way back up Emily's body to meet the brunette face to face. She was flushed, breathing heavily with her eyes closed. _God she's beautiful._ Alison leant down and left a soft kiss on Emily's lips. Emily slowly opened her eyes when she had more control over her body and looked back into the blonde's ocean blue eyes. "Hey" Alison says gently as she pushes some of the brunettes loose hair behind her ear.

"Hey" Emily responds lazily. She was just happy to bask in her afterglow.

"Was that what you had in mind?" Alison quips cheekily. Emily shakes her head at the girl who is now lying beside her, cuddled in her favourite place.

"No" Emily responds easily, and laughs to herself when she feels the blonde tense.

"It was so much better".


	7. Chapter 7: The Last Thing

**_CHAPTER SEVEN: THE LAST THING_**

 **Authors Note: Hey guys, another update for you. I know some of you are wanting the story to start hitting the drama side of things. It'll get there I promise you. It's just taking more to set it up than I had previously planned. Actually this story is looking like it's going to take way longer to tell then I had originally planned. I'm just super invested in 's be beauty of writing, sometimes you write the story, and sometimes the story writes itself. Like I also said, this is going off into AU-ville. If any of you guys have seen the little teaser for 7x11 you'll know that already.**

 **Also, shameless plug here: Go check out my other story 'I Should't Have Let Her Go', if you're looking for a super angsty, drama filled story, that's what you'll find.**

 **Enjoy this update of Second Starts guys!**

They lay together basking in the warmth of their shared afterglows. Emily's hand is lost in it's ministrations, fascinated by how soft Alison's skin is. This is what she spent all of that time dreaming of. It wasn't about the sex, it wasn't about the kissing or being able to say Alison was hers. It was this moment right now. The ones where they're just happy being in the others presence. Having Ali wrapped around her like she was made to fit, to feel her gentle breathing on her neck, to feel her hands playing idly with her hair. She can feel her beating heart, and she smiles to herself. _They're beating at the same time._

Alison shuffles closer to Emily wanting to completely lose herself in the goddess beneath her. Emily moves her head to the side and they're so close their noses are almost touching. Alison doesn't have to have her eyes open to know the brunette has a peaceful smirk on her face. She doesn't want to break this moment. If she had it her way, her life would be filled with moments like this. She feels the brunette nudge closer until their lips meet in a slow, languid, passionate kiss. Alison grips at Emily's hair a little harder wanting the brunette to understand how she's feeling. How much she wants Emily, especially this version of her.

They break apart from the kiss and their eyes both open slowly. Alison catches a small tear break away from Emily's eye and she's quick to kiss it away. "What's wrong Em?" she says with her voice filled with compassion and love. She cups Emily's cheeks with both hands and looks straight into her eyes, like she's trying to read her thoughts.

"It's nothing, really" Emily dismisses and ducks her eyes down. Alison smiles worriedly at that classic Emily move. Alison has always secretly loved it. That the brunette thinks she's hiding herself by averting her eyes, when really she's always been easy to read.

"Emily, this isn't nothing. Talk to me" Alison gently coerces as she lands a small kiss on the brunettes forehead. Emily smiles at that gesture. Her dad uses to do that too, she can't explain why, but it's always calmed her.

"I never thought I was going to have this. With you. I knew you cared about me Ali, don't get me wrong. It's just, I never thought the way I feel about you, that it was ever going to be… reciprocated" the brunette explains with a shaky voice. Alison encourages Emily to look at her.

"Those feelings were always reciprocated Em, I was just… scared. But I don't get why you're so upset now" Alison subtly quizzes, moving up and resting her weight on one arm. She smiles when Emily moves her hair behind her ear.

"Upset? I'm not upset Ali. I'm just, happy. A little overwhelmed maybe. Just really happy. I haven't been this happy for a really, really long time" Emily reveals as she traces her fingers up and down one of Alison's arms.

Alison doesn't say anything, she understands. She feels exactly the same. It feels like her heart's about to burst out of her chest. She leaves a quick kiss on Emily's lips and pulls back before they get too lost in themselves today, she does actually have plans that don't involve them being bed-bound.

Emily pouts when Alison finishes the kiss earlier than she would have liked. "Em, I do have something I want to ask you though" Alison says, her voice coming out shakier than she would have liked. She looks back at the brunettes wide, warm eyes and melts. "What are your plans for tonight?".

"I uh… Nothing. It's my first night off in a while. I've been trying so hard to save up my money for school" Emily answers honestly. She looks at Ali skeptically when she sees a cheshire cat-like grin grace her beautiful face.

"Well, can I take you on a date? And honest-to-god date, a date… date?" the blonde asks, starting to get excited about what she's had planned in her head for years.

"Really?" Emily asks dumbly, shocked that it's Ali asking _her._

"Yes, really" Alison retorts with a chuckle.

Emily nods enthusiastically and grabs the blonde in for a chaste kiss, "I'd love to Ali. Of course I'd love to" she answers when she pulls back.

"We do have things to do today though, so how about I pick you up at the loft at eight?" Emily smiles in an elated daze. _A date, with Ali. I'm dating Ali. Wow._

Emily is brought back to earth by the blonde gently shaking her "What?" she says dimly.

Alison laughs and Emily is sure that sound is her favourite. It fills your whole being. That's what she missed the most when she had disappeared, the sound of Emily happy. "The loft, eight o'clock, a date… with me. I need an answer Em, not a dopey smile" Ali laughs when Emily rolls herself on top of the blonde.

"You know, if I said no to this, fourteen-year-old Emily would find a way to travel into future and hit me" Emily says warmly looking down at the brunette, holding herself up with both of her hands. "Eight o'clock, the loft. It's a date" she says and leans down for a small kiss.

Alison was starting to deepen it when Emily rolls off the bed and chuckles at the frustrated sigh the blonde emits. "We have stuff to do today right? Want a lift to the hospital?".

Alison sobers quickly and nods, "Ah, yeah. I'd love one".

Emily sees that look on Alison's face, she's seen it too many times to know what's going though the blondes head. She moves back to the bed and sits next to the blonde, "Ali, don't go to _that_ place okay. Spencer is going to be fine. We're going to figure this out. We _are_ going to have our happy ending" she moves a lock of blonde hair behind Ali's ear and smiles, "Now come on. I'm hungry, and if you don't get up I'll start cooking without you" Emily says cheekily as she starts off for the kitchen.

Alison takes a second to realise what the brunette had said and jumps out of bed in a flash, "Do not touch anything in my kitchen Fields!" she yells from her hall. Alison stops when she hears a pan hit the ground and laughs. _What a disaster. My disaster._

* * *

They walk together, hand in hand, through the trauma ward of Rosewood Community Hospital. Emily shudders at the feeling of being back in here, _again._ Too many times she's been here because of A, and now A.D. Alison feels Emily's unease and squeezes her hand gently, letting her know she's there. That was enough to calm the brunette. Before they know it they make it to Spencer's hospital room. They hesitantly open the door not knowing what to expect.

There, laying on the bed was a lonesome brunette sleeping gently. "Maybe we should comeback later" Emily whispers to Alison.

"Don't bother, I'm awake" Spencer pushes out when she notices them turning for the door. At the sound of Spencer's voice Emily rushes to her bed side. She sits on the Hastings bed and holds her good hand tightly.

"I was so worried about you Spence, I… I thou- I thought you were…" Emily stuttered out, feeling a lump form in her throat.

"Shh, Em. Don't okay. I'm here. I'm alive, that's all that matters okay" Spencer says gently trying to soothe her friend. She knew Emily would react like this, she's always had a bigger heart than anyone else she knew. When something bad happens Hanna gets angry, Aria gets scared, and Emily… she gets protective. Spencer sees someone hovering near the door and smiles inwardly. Then there's Ali, who gets this weird mixture of angry, scared and protective when something happens to her loved ones. Spencer locks eyes with her friend and see's something else, she softens when she figures it out.

"Ali, come here" she says and motions for the other side of her bed. Alison hesitates for a moment, and when she sees the stern look on Spencer's face she moves slowly for the bed. Alison can't bring herself to meet Spencer's eyes. She doesn't know what to say, or how to be. After what they all learnt last night. She's not sure of anything. "Ali, look at me" she says quietly. Emily just sits there quietly watching the exchange between the two… cousins.

"Spencer I-" is all she could manage before a tear falls from her right eye.

"Ali, we don't have to talk about it. I… we don't have any answers. And if it is the truth, we can just ignore it" Spencer responds gently, not wanting to upset her friend… cousin.

At that Ali's head bolts up with a pained expression on her face, "Is that what you want?" she says with a shaky voice. At that Emily takes her hand to try and calm her down.

"Is it what _you_ want Ali. Right now the only people that know are our families. And the other three girls" Spencer says her eyes engaged with the blondes.

"No, god Spencer. No. That is the _last_ thing I want. I barely have any family as it is. You… you still have Peter and Veronica and Melissa, even Jason. My family… they're ghosts. My dad, I haven't seen him in years. Jason is here for me when it suits him. And Charlotte, I don't even know how to start with her. You being a cousin… I- I would be honoured to have you as family. Spence you've always felt like family to me… I just didn't know how to explain it. Now, I can-"

"Breathe Ali" Emily says soothingly as she uses her thumb to draw on her hand. Ali takes a breath after her frantic ramble.

Spencer smiles and lets a tear fall, "I'd like that Ali. I'd really like that" at that Alison lets her face erupt in the most beautiful smile and moves in to hug her cousin.

Spencer lets out a pained hiss and Ali jumps back with a guilty look on her face, "Sorry Spence" the patient just laughs and brushes it off.

Emily clears her throat to let the other two know she was still there, "How are you feeling, what did the doctor say?"

"That I was shot in my left shoulder. I have some superficial damage. Apparently I'm lucky it was a through and through. The biggest problem was the amount of blood I lost, possibly nerve damage. I have to stay in here until he's happy to clear me. I'll have to go to physical therapy for that. Then, we _are_ getting answers. But until I'm out. No A.D business. We're a better team together, so just… don't do anything to get yourselves in a hospital bed" she pleads with her puppy dog eyes.

Ali and Emily both look at each other with matching smiles.

"What was that?" Spencer says skeptically, too observant for her own good.

"Nothing Spence. Really. We already have A.D free plans. For tonight at least" Ali says coyly, smiling at her mermaid.

"Huh, who asked who?" Spencer says bluntly. At that the other two girls heads whip around with a matching look of confusion and awe. "Oh come on, you two are about as subtle as a hand grenade. It must be Hanna wearing off on you" Spencer says with a giggle.

"Ali asked me" Emily said shyly, Alison smiles at that. It was very reminiscent of that younger version of herself.

"So is now the time I have the don't hurt her feelings conversation?" Spencer says sternly.

"With who" Alison asks curiously.

"Both of you" Spencer shoots back quickly. They all chuckle. Before anyone could say anything further the nurse enters the room and tells them that it's time for Spencer to get some rest.

"Look after yourself Spencer, I love you" Emily says whilst settling a kiss on the injured girls head.

After Emily moves for the door Alison moves in and whispers something in Spencer's ear. As she moves back they both smile at each other and the brunette just nods.

The two girls walk back down the ward feeling better than when they were walking in.

"Ali, what did you just say to Spencer?" Emily asks out of curiosity.

"It's a secret Em" Alison responds cryptically.

"I thought we said no more secrets" Emily shoots back as they make it to the parking lot, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Oh sweetie, this one is the good kind of secret. You've just got to be patient" Alison says as she starts off to her car.

Emily stands there for a minute, "I have been patient" she mumbles to herself. She looks back at Ali who is smiling at her calmly. At that Emily softens, _I'll be patient… for the good kind of secret._


	8. Chapter 8: There's Something In The Air

**_CHAPTER EIGHT: There's something in the air tonight._**

She hears a knock on the door and rushes to open it, "Thank god you're here. I'm freaking out. Not like a little bit. Like the 'I'm-going-to-explode' kind of way" she rants as she pulls her very confused, very tiny friend into her home.

"Oh-kay. Ali. I don't know what's got you like this. Did you get a message from A.D?" Aria hesitantly questions with a very confused look on her face.

With a big huff the blonde turns around and tries to calm herself down. "What? No, Aria. This is not an A.D problem" Ali stops there and leads Aria into her room. Her room that has clothes strewn everywhere.

"Ali, you're not losing it again are you?" Aria asks cautiously, her confusion growing by the second.

"No Aria. I am not losing it" Alison deadpans. "I need for you to be okay with this. Then, you need to help me _please,_ because I'm not kidding. I am freaking out" Alison tries to explain. Aria nods and moves into the room, moving some clothes so she can sit at the end of her friends bed.

"Alight Ali. I'm all ears" Aria says shaking her hair out of the way and plastering a very concentrated look on her face.

"I'm going on a date… Tonight" Ali says slowly. She tries to ignore the devil-like grin starting to form on Aria's face. What she says next could either make it grow exponentially or it'll wipe it clean off the smug little woman's face. "With Emily" Ali says so quickly she's not sure she got it out in the first place.

Aria sits for a second trying to process what she just heard, "With Emily" she sounds out and the blonde nods timidly. "Goddamn it Ali. Now I owe Hanna fifty bucks!".

"Wait. You two bet on us?" Ali asks a little shocked herself. She really thought they were being subtle.

"Well yeah. Spencer and Hanna were so sure they had you pegged. Hanna wanted to bet on it. Spencer thought it was unbecoming, so it was just between me and Han" Aria explained.

"And you didn't think there was anything going on?" Ali asks, tilting her head to the side in curiosity.

"I just thought it was more complicated than that" Aria responds honestly. Alison smiles at how well her friend can read a situation. That's why she loves Aria so much. Sure Spencer's great at reading people. And Hanna, well she's so in love with the idea of love that she sometimes doesn't see the whole picture. But Aria, she's got this magical way of reading a situation for what it is, and rolling with it.

"You're right. It is. I let her walk away once Aria, and I am _not_ going to do that again. I refuse. It's just tonight feels big. Like my whole life is riding on it, big" Ali starts to explain as she paces in front of the writer.

"You know I felt the same just before my first date with Ezra? I thought that our entire relationship was riding on that one night" Aria says gently standing to stop the blonde in her tracks. "Ali, that's not how love works. We have all seen you two together. You don't need to go on a date to know that whatever it is, it's special. Truthfully, when you two are in a good place it's really beautiful to watch" she finishes with a smile.

"You think so?" Alison asks with a hint of vulnerability. Something Aria still isn't used to hearing, but she's starting to really like this more humble version of her friend.

"Yeah, I do" she breathes out. "Now, I'm guessing you want me to help you out with an outfit?" Aria questions with a raised eyebrow and a little smirk.

"Please. I- I just want to look nice… for her. Y'know?" Ali stutters out, not used to talking to her friends about going on dates. She used to be so much more confident.

"Ali, relax. I've got this. I know the outfit, I've seen you in it before. I even know how we're doing your hair and makeup" Aria says knowingly.

"How are you so good at this?" the blonde huffs looking at herself in her vanity mirror she picks up her brush and starts combing it through her hair.

"I'm not good at it Ali. It's just something Emily said after she saw you when we first got back to Rosewood" Aria says, not giving as much information away as Aliso so obviously needed.

"Alright Aria, you cannot just leave that sentence there. What did she say? When?" Ali says turning around quickly so she could try and read her friends face.

"She'd kill me for saying anything. I don't even think she realised what she meant when she said it" Aria tries to deflect. She looks back at Ali and their eyes lock. Aria waivers a little, not having seen that signature Dilaurentis glare for years. Aria warms at that, glad her friend hasn't completely lost all of what makes her Alison Dilaurentis. She sighs as she gives into her very persistent friend, "Fine! She said 'There's something about how she is though, I can't put my finger on it, she looks… happy'. I don't think Em really understood why you were so happy or why she thought you looked so happy. I think she was confusing that for her feelings for you. I saw it in your eyes though. The whole time we were having coffee Em couldn't keep her eyes off you. It was kind of cute" Aria says dreamily reminiscing.

Alison smiles at that, she remembers that morning. It was a few days after she started back at Rosewood High, they had made a habit of 'bumping' into each other at The Brew. Aria just so happened to be at Ezra's that morning and decided to join them. If they were still in school Alison would have hated Aria for being there. These days the blonde is finding she's really cherishing whatever time her friends choose to spend with her.

"Oh" is all Ali can get out with a small smile.

"Now, are you going to let me do your hair, or are we still on the freaking out bandwagon?" Aria says standing up looking like she's on a mission.

"You'll be my best friend if you do" Alison smiles at Aria's reflection.

"I already am. I'll be your _favourite_ best friend after I do this for you" Aria snaps back cheekily.

"No you won't" Ali says matter-of-factly. At that Aria snaps up from her task of finding _the_ out fit.

"I'm insulted. Why not?" Aria huffs as she stands in the middle of the blonde's bedroom with her hands holding the outfit.

"Because… Emily's my favourite. She always has been" Alison retorts with a smile. She laughs when Aria throws her outfit at her.

"I'm ignoring that, go change" Aria demands, she softens when she see's the thankful look in Ali's eyes, "Go Ali! We haven't got all night, and I know for a fact you're itching to see _your_ Emily".

Alison moves to her ensuite to change, when she actually looks at what Aria picked out for her she smiles inwardly. It's her favourite dress. It's this beautiful sapphire blue that she knows brings out the colour of her eyes, it dips in the front showing just enough cleavage to 'keep them guessing' and falls just above her knees. Sh throws it on and smooths it out, looking in the mirror she tries to settle her nerves. A picture of the brunette in question flows through her mind and she can already feel herself calm.

" _My_ Emily" she sighs and turns to let Aria work her magic on her hair and make-up.

* * *

"Hanna! Focus!" Emily snaps when she sees her friend more focused on her phone than she is on the task at hand. "If you have a real problem with this Hanna, you can leave. Go hang out with Caleb. But do not rain on my parade" the frantic brunette snaps. It's not that she's in a bad mood, it's just this is something she's wanted for a really long time. She's wanted this for as long as she can remember. So she's a little nervous. Okay that's a total lie, she's a lot nervous.

"Oh relax Em. I'm just messing with you. I just wanted to see how long it would take for you to snap" Hanna retorts cheekily, putting Emily out of her misery. "That and I kind of owe it to you" the snarky blonde responds lightly.

"Wait… what do you mean you 'owe it' to me? What did I do?" Emily questions Hanna, forgetting why she was so frantic in the first place.

"Well, you and Ali kind of won me fifty bucks… so-" before Hanna could finish that sentence, the brunette clicks.

"Hanna! You have got to stop placing bets on people's love lives. This cannot be a healthy hobby for you to have" Emily banters back.

"It may not be healthy, but it's so much fun" the blonde says back, chuckling at the un-amused look Emily throws her way.

"Alright, now we really need to focus. Ali's going to be here soon and I am not even close to ready. Help me, _please_ " Emily says, throwing her friend a puppy-like look which always helps her get her way with her friends.

"I got this Em, don't worry. If it's any consolation, you could wear a heshan sack and Ali would love it" Hanna laughs as she starts sorting her way through Emily's… _limited_ closet. "Goddamn, when did you get this dress Em? It's hot" Hanna says bluntly. She pulls out a simple black dress with a high neckline, it's backless and is the perfect dress to show off her friends amazing legs. Legs Hanna has _always_ been jealous of.

"I bought that in California, I don't think I've even worn it" Emily says nonchalantly, not thinking that's the dress Hanna is going to choose. She sees a knowing look pass over her friends face, "Hanna, not that one. I don't even know where Ali's taking me. Unless it's clubbing, which I know it isn't, this dress isn't going on my body tonight" Emily says leaving no room for argument.

Hanna relents with a sigh, "Fine, but the next time we do go clubbing you're wearing this". The blonde goes back to her task, trying to find the perfect outfit for her friend. She is taking this seriously, contrary to what Emily probably thinks. When Emily told her about what was happening between her and Alison she was skeptical. She's seen Emily hurt too many times at Alison's hand, and she refuses to go down that road a third time. After a lengthy discussion, Hanna agreed to give Alison a chance. The blonde does agree with all her friends when it comes to the youngest Dilaurentis, she has changed. It took a while for Hanna to believe it, but she sees now Alison has actually changed for the better.

"Hanna, I don't think you're quite grasping the weight of what tonight is okay. So please, can you take this seriously" Emily desperately pleads with her clownish friend. Hanna turns around from Emily's closet and moves towards the panick-y brunette.

She takes her shoulders and makes sure she's looking her in the eyes, "Em, I do understand okay. I get it. We're going to have you looking so good Ali won't know what to do with herself. Your night, it's going to be amazing. You deserve this Em… you both do" Hanna soothes. When Emily finally responds with a timid nod the blonde goes back to the task at hand.

"Hanna" Emily says so quietly the blonde almost misses it. She stops in her tracks immediately and turns at how small her best friend sounds.

"You have nothing to worry about Em. Anyone with eyes can see it" Hanna says as she turns and after wading through a few more hangers finds _the_ outfit.

"See what?" Emily asks in confusion.

"She loves you. I think she always has. Ali was brought up a little different to us, she just didn't recognise that it _was_ love she was feeling" Hanna explains with a gentle smile. She wanders back over to Emily with a pair of skin tight black jeans and black blouse with a very revealing neckline.

Emily sees what Hanna has picked out and smiles widely, _that's the one._

"Now, go get dresses. You don't want to keep your girl waiting any longer do you?" with that Emily snaps her clothes up and rushes to her bathroom too finish getting ready. Hanna laughs at her.

Once Emily is ready, hot black outfit, deep red lipstick and her hair falling messily around her face, she looks at herself in the mirror one last time. She can feel herself bursting with excitement. After waiting nearly ten years, she's finally getting her chance with her first love. She looks herself in the eye, takes a big breath in and smiles on the breath out.

 _It's time, go get your girl._

 **Authors Note:**

 **So so sorry for the late update guys! I have a very busy job and sometimes things and deadlines go out the window! But here is the next instalment. A very nervous, pre-date Emison here. Luckily the girls have amazing friends to calm them both.**

 **You all deserve this update for being so patient!**

 **If everything goes to plan, I'm hoping to update the' 'First Date' chapter this weekend. Cause all I plan on doing this Easter is eating chocolate and writing!**

 **Enjoy x**


	9. Chapter 9: Great Expectations

**_CHAPTER NINE: GREAT EXPECTATIONS_**

 **Authors Note: New chapter for you amazing readers. You've been waiting for it. Their first date.**

 **If you want to get the most out of this chapter. There are two songs to listen to one right after the other.**

 **The Night We Met - Lord Huron.**

 **Rinf of Fire - Branches + The Show Ponies**

Alison stands at the door to the loft, her hands frozen at her sides. Tonight is the night she's wanted for longer than she can remember. Contrary to popular belief, Alison's felt things for her sweet Emily from the moment they met. Alison just didn't know how to put into words why she was so invested in having the beautiful brunette in her life, she just did. So she, along with the other three, welcomed Emily into her life. There was always something different about how she was when she was with Emily though. She never felt like she had to be The Alison Dilaurentis. She got to be Ali with the other girl. All those little moments when she got to be just Ali, she will always hold them in a special place. Locked away from everyone and anyone, they will always be safe. Those little moments are the one thing A can't take from her, and she cherishes that.

Throughout all of those years, the ones when she got those little moments. The ones where she was figuring out who she was, who she thought she was, and what she was trying to figure out what she wanted. The ones where she was running from it all, alone and scared. The ones where she was back but never felt further from her old life with the little moments. The ones where she got to rediscover who Alison Dilaurentis was. To where she is now, all figured out and actively getting what she's always wanted. Throughout all of those years, this is the one thing she dreamt of the most. The night. The night she gets to take the most beautiful girl in the whole world on a date.

You'd think it would be the next time she gets to lay eyes on her, or kiss her, or show her how much she cares for her. Nope, not for Ali. It's the night she gets to take Emily Fields hand, and walk out into the world and show it that this is her girl. That Emily Fields is… she's _her_ Emily. The night she gets to live her favourite story, the night of great expectations.

There in lies the problem though, there's so much riding on tonight. She has put so, so much pressure on making tonight perfect. She stares at the door for a while longer, mustering all her courage and all her confidence. Then she smiles, just a small one, just to herself. Because the thought of what she's got planned for them tonight, she _knows_ Emily will love.

That little surge of confidence is all she needs to finally bring her hand up and lay three gentle knocks on the door. Her heart races as she does it, and she swears her heart beats are louder than the sounds of her knocking on the door. She steals a deep breath as she hears someone approaching the door. It's ripped open and she looks up to see Hanna with the biggest grin on her face.

"Wow Ali, you look hot" Hanna says bluntly and it's enough for Ali to let out a small, breathy laugh.

"Thanks Han…" Ali replies in a shy tone and looks everywhere but in her friends eyes. _God I used to be way stronger than this._

"Ali, you want some advice for tonight?" Hanna says, still sporting that smug Marin grin. Ali doesn't reply, but she does manage to look the other girl in the eye. Which Hanna takes as a yes. "Breathe" is all she says as Emily rounds the corner of the living room and comes into Ali's vision.

"I'm not sure I can" she whispers loud enough for only Hanna to hear. That was enough to wipe the grin off Hanna's face. Hanna still held a small, fractional belief that Ali was using Em. But right in this moment, she sees something she's not sure Ali has figured out yet and it kind of takes her breath away too. All she can to is hug Alison quickly and yell out a 'Have fun' before she retires herself to her room.

Alison still stands frozen at the door of the loft, eyes stuck on the girl walking up slowly to her. When Emily makes it three feet in front of her she smiles softly.

"Hello Ali" Emily says in a whisper, not wanting to disturb whatever atmosphere they've just created, she can almost feel an electricity run between them. "You… look so beautiful" is all she could manage, a little lost for words. Alison looks different to her tonight, and she can't put her finger on what it is, but she can feel it.

"No, you Em. You look…" Ali stops when she realises she can't find a word to do Emily justice.

"I've made the English teacher speechless huh?" Emily tries to softly joke, feeling like the weight of this atmosphere is starting to get a little much for the both of them.

"More like breathless" Alison whispers and smiles widely and the look of mild surprise on Emily's face. Alison extends her hand, "Are you ready to go?" she asks with a sparkle in her eye and Emily nods emphatically and takes Alison hands. She smiles internally at how good it feels to be holding her Ali's hand, like this is exactly where she's supposed to be in this moment.

"So where are you taking me?" Emily asks absent-mindedly playing with Alison's hand whilst they walk down to Ali's car.

"Remember what I said to you the other day about surprises?" Ali starts, and at that Emily huffs. The child-like sound that came from the brunette makes Ali laugh. "Yeah, you're going to have to wait for it. I do believe that you'll love it though" the blonde explains as they make it to her car. She opens the door and gestures for Emily to take the seat, "M'lady" she jokes.

Emily smiles widely and feels her heart swell at the little gesture.

 _I think I am going to love it._

* * *

After driving for a while Emily starts to get really curious, looking around from her spot in Alison's car trying to figure it out as soon as she can. All she can gauge is they're in the middle of Philly. She can feel Alison squeeze their conjoined hands and gives the blonde her full attention.

"It's okay to not know Em. You trust me right?" Alison asks, a little nervous about the answer, but inwardly proud at how strong her voice sounds.

"Always" is the brunettes gentle reply. To distract herself from the anticipation of the night Emily focuses on playing with the blonde's free hand. They've always had this thing about holding hands, like they want to be connected even when they're not thinking about it. It's always been a comfort for Emily though, the feel of the blonde's hand in hers.

Five minutes later they pull into an underground carpark, Alison kills the engine and turns her attention to the brunette. She looks at her for a moment just taking in the girl in front of her. "Come on, I know you're dying to see what it is we're doing" and with that they both exit the car and enter an elevator at the end of the carpark.

They stand next to each other, hand in hand, and they both have to focus on breathing. That electricity that was running between them earlier is back at full force. Emily swears she can feel it swirling around her. After what felt like a forever they make it to the very top floor. Emily sends Alison a confused look to which the blonde just smiles and shrugs cheekily. When the elevator opens they're met with a short hallway and a small flight of stairs. Once they make it to the top of the stairs the two girls are met with a light breeze and a man in a suit.

"Alison Dilaurentis" is all the blonde says and the man smiles and nods in the direction behind him. Alison pulls Emily further onto the rooftop and it's then that it clicks where Alison has brought them. She stops after just a few steps and smiles widely. She looks around to see the twinkle lights, the very few beanbag chairs scattered around the space, the little bar off to the side and the big screen at the far end.

"You see, you mentioned to me when we teenagers that you've always wanted to go to the drive in. I heard some people at work talking about these little cinemas that are scattered all over Philly and I thought you'd like this a little more" Alison explains as she starts to drag Emily to their allocated space.

The whole space is very intimate, they only let a select number of people up here to keep the atmosphere as intimate as possible. So when they make it to their space Emily smiles even more. "A beanbag built for two huh? How convenient" they both chuckle softly and take their seat. Emily looks around a little more, just taking in the whole spectacle of this little cinema. "Ali, this is… This is perfect. Really perfect" Emily says as she lays eyes on the blonde who lets out a small sigh of relief.

"I'm glad you like it. I-" Alison starts but stops herself, not really sure she wants to say what she was going to.

Emily picks up on the hesitation and takes Ali's hand as a sign for the blonde to continue, "I'm just glad we're here. Not on this rooftop, but… just together. Am I making any sense" Alison grimaces and feels the brunettes hand squeeze hers a little harder.

"You are Ali. I get it" she says sweetly and looks up at a waiter offering the two a glass of red wine. They both take their glasses happily. Emily raises her glass to toast with Ali.

"What are we toasting to?" Ali asks lightly.

"How about to tonight?" Emily asks simply and smiles when Ali nods shyly.

They're interrupted by one of the workers, "Welcome to the _Destiné à être_ theatre. Tonight we're screening 'Les Yeux sans Visage'. Now for those who can't speak French there will be subtitles. The bar will be open for the entire film, and for a small amount of time afterwards. If requested by your space, appetisers can be offered. Now enjoy the night. Les étoiles brillent, la lune sourit et l'amour est dans l'air"

"Ali, you brought be to a French rooftop cinema?" Emily turns to the blonde and asks in wonder, now everything clicking.

"Not only did I do that, I brought you to a French rooftop cinema that's playing a horror film. I told you that you'd love it" Ali smiles into her wine glass.

"I do, I really do" Emily says as she simply watches Ali. "Is your French as good as it used to be?" Emily asks taking another sip of her wine.

"Better" Alison answers smugly.

At that Emily's raises her eyebrows in surprise, and also as a silent challenge for the blonde to prove it.

Emily watches that signature Alison Dilaurentis smirk break out on her face and braces herself.

"Les étoiles brillent, la lune sourit et l'amour est dans l'air, do you know what that means?" Alison asks lightly. Emily shakes her head totally mesmerised by the girl in front of her.

"The stars shine, the moon smiles, and love is in the air" Emily just stares back at the blonde as the twinkle lights dim and the film starts playing. None of that breaks her trance though, and that swirly electric feeling from earlier comes back at full force.

Alison smiles and turns her attention to the film. Emily clears her throat and takes a large gulp of her wine. Tonight isn't going the way Emily worried it would. They're not being drowned in nervous energy, but she is being drowned in a different kind of atmosphere. It's like the world is shouting at them, shouting 'This is where you're meant to be'.

The movie builds up quickly, which Alison is cursing. Little to Emily's knowledge, she hates horror. Something jumps out on the screen and Alison lets out a little whimper, trying to hide how scared this movie is starting to make her. Emily turns her head at the noise and sees the slight look of terror on the blondes face.

"Ali" she whispers to get the blondes attention. When she doesn't she places her hand on the other girls thigh and squeezes it gently. "You don't do horror films do you?" Emily asks softly, already knowing the answer. When Ali chokes out a small, "No" Emily smiles to herself.

"Why did you bring me to a horror film then?" she whispers trying to calm the blonde a little more.

"Because, I know you like them" was all she could manage before a loud noise comes from the speakers and both girls jump. "How are you not terrified" Alison question, her big blue eyes latching on to the warmth and safety of Emily's.

"I am… I just like the suspense, the anticipation of something about to happen. The actual getting scared bit, I could do without" they exchange a small smile and Emily shifts closer to the blonde. "Do you want to get out of here?" she whispers.

Alison turns her head and looks straight into the brunettes eyes again, "No, no I don't. Just… god this is going to sound so stupid" Alison starts then stops.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not stupid" Emily responds, trying to get the blonde to open up. "Ali, tonight is about _us._ Okay, you and me. So what do you want?" she explains clearly and it clicks for the blonde. Tonight is just as big for Emily as it is for her.

"I don't like horror films Em. But I like being with you. So can you…" Alison falters again not able to get out what she wants. Luckily Emily is getting better at reading the blonde.

"Come here" Emily whispers and reclines on the beanbag pulling the blonde down with her. Alison sighs at the feeling of being encased safely in the brunettes arms.

"Thank you" she whispers, Emily just holds her tighter in response.

The rest of the film goes on like this. Alison revelling at the feeling of being in her mermaids arms, and Emily revelling in the feeling of finally having her Ali back. Whenever something would scare the blonde she would jump and hide in the crook of Emily's neck. Emily would close her eyes at the feeling of Alison's breaths hitting her neck and whisper 'it's okay' into Alison's ear.

The last part of the film was particularly intense and Alison spent the entirety of it hiding in her new favourite place. When she heard the credits start to roll she pulled back slightly and looked into Emily's eyes. She smiles shyly, "Sorry" she manages as the twinkle lights come back to life.

"Ali, you never have to apologise for feeling. Even if it's scared" Emily says as she moves a piece of the blondes hair behind her ear. That gesture causes the blonde to swallow thickly. "Want to go get another drink?" Emily asks trying to clear the air between them a little. Alison nods happily as they make their way to the bar. The blonde orders for them, feeling a little better that she's got more control of herself.

She takes the two glasses of wine and looks around for the brunette who's standing at the edge of the building, looking out over the city. She walks up behind the girl slowly, just admiring being here with her.

She clears her throat lightly to let the brunette know she's behind her. Emily turns around slowly and takes a glass from Alison hands. As she does, she feels their hands brush against each other. She hears Ali's sharp inhale and looks up at the girl, their eyes lock in some kind of stalemate. Their gaze is broken by the sound of the manager's voice from earlier.

"We hope you all enjoyed the film. We hope you enjoyed the night. The floor is now open, and my very good friends will be playing for you to end off the night. Dansez comme le battement à votre coeur".

With that, a folk bank starts playing in front of what was the cinema screen. Alison looks to the brunette with raised eyebrows, a silent invitation for a dance.

The brunette smiles and takes Ali's free hand, she leans in and whispers, "I'd love to dance with you".

She takes the blonde's glass and sets it next to her's on the edge of the building and leads her to the dance floor that is now littered with a few other couples. They turn to each other and start to slowly sway together, it's all the type of music calls for. Emily holding Alison to her closely by the hips, and Alison draping her arms around the brunette and closes her eyes at how good it feels to be dancing under the twinkle lights with her Emily.

"Ali, what did he say at the end?" Alison smiles at Emily. She's always wanted to know what people are saying if she can't understand. Most people are happy with just listening to it, but Emily has always had this need to know thing and Alison has always loved it.

"Dansez comme le battement à votre coeur, it means dance like the beat to your heart" Alison whispers in Emily's ear. At the sensation of the whisper, Emily closes her eyes and takes a shallow breath in.

"I like that" she says lightly, pulling the blonde into her so their bodies meet fully.

Alison hums, "So do I".

At some point, one song turns to two, and two to three, and eventually they lose touch. They lose touch with the other dancers, they lose touch with the twinkle lights. They lose touch with the stars that shine, and the moon that smiles. The only thing they're aware of is each other. Emily turns her head in slightly so her lips brush against the blondes cheek. She leaves them there lingering, just relishing in being completely surrounded by Ali. Recently they're made it a point to talk about how they're feeling, or what they want. Right now, in this little moment, not a single word is needed. They both know how they feel. They both know what they want. They both _know._

Alison shifts her head slightly and the corners of their mouths brush against each other. She feels like this moment is moving in slow motion. She pulls back so she can look at Emily in the eyes, so she can tell her with that one look what she's feeling. Emily looks into the depths of Alison's ocean blue eyes and stops breathing. Because right there, with that look, in this little moment she _knows._ She doesn't just love Ali, she doesn't just care for Ali. She is completely, utterly, totally in love with Alison Dilaurentis. Not like she was when they were younger, this feels different. It feels bigger than that, so much bigger.

With that small epiphany, Emily leans in and connects her lips to those of the girl she's in love with. The kiss starts off slow. Emily just relishes in the feel of Alison's lips on hers. She relishes in the feeling of being able to show her how she feels. For the first time, their kiss feels like they've got the rest of their lives to do this. Eventually Alison deepens the kiss and runs her hands through the brunettes hair. This forces Emily to let out a quiet moan. The response makes Alison smile into the kiss.

She hears a gentle tapping on a microphone and a throat clear, "Thank you all for dancing to the beat of our drum. We hope you enjoy the rest of your night".

The girls unwillingly pull away from each other, their eyes lock onto each other as soon as they can focus.

"I guess the night's finished" Emily says quietly, not wanting to break out of this moment. She'd actually quite happily live in it forever.

"No Em. It's not. Tonight's just beginning" Ali answers cryptically as she takes the brunettes hands and begins to lead them back to her car.

"It's not?" Emily asks a little confused.

"Nope" Ali answers shortly, not wanting to give her second surprise away.

"You're not telling me where we're going are you?" Emily asks defeatedly.

When they make it to Ali's car the blonde pulls Emily in for a sweet, soft kiss. "You'll eventually catch on to how surprises are supposed to work" she says as they pull away. "Now M'Lady, your chariot awaits" she gestures for her car much like she did earlier in the night.

Emily gets in the front seat of the car and tries to get a control of everything she's feeling. This night has been so overwhelmingly _them,_ perfectly them. She can't wait to see what Ali has in store for them.

Alison starts the car and starts driving off to their next location. Whilst they start leaving the city limits again, something from the night catches Emily's attention.

"Ali… the name of that cinema was french too right?" she asks turning to the blonde, and moves that one piece of hair out of her face that always gets loose. Alison hums contentedly in response. "Do you know what it means?"

Alison pulls the car to a stop at a red light and turns to look at Emily and smiles before she responds, "Destiné à être. It means 'Meant to be'. The light goes green and Alison starts off again.

Emily turns to look out the front window, her hand at some point making it to the blondes, drawing meaningless patterns on it. She smiles widely to herself.

 _Meant to be._

 **Authors Note: Well there it is. Their first date. What did y'all think. Love it? Hate it? I'm really glad with how it turned out. You know how people ask you what your idea of a perfect date is. Mine's something like this.**

 **Let's also remember it's not entirely over. Ali has one more surprise up her sleeve for her Emily.**

 **And who else loved the Hanna/Ali bit at the start?**

 **What do you think Ali's surprise is?**


	10. Chapter 10: In Too Deep

**_CHAPTER TEN: IN TOO DEEP_**

Emily doesn't know how long they spend driving from the cinema, and frankly she really doesn't care. She hasn't felt this… at peace in her whole life. She's never felt that all encompassing 'it's all going to be alright' feeling ever. Not when she was with Maya, not when she was with Paige, not when she left Rosewood. Even in California, she always felt like there was this piece to her puzzle missing. Honestly she didn't really feel it after Ali professed her feelings to her at the Kissing Rock. The moment she felt it was when they were slow dancing on that rooftop. It was like she could feel Ali putting that last piece in the puzzle, and now she can see it, she can feel it. Her happily ever after, she can see it with the love of her life. So she doesn't care where they're going, she doesn't care how long they've been driving, all she cares about is never letting Ali out of her sight.

She was so lost in her own musings that she didn't realise the car had stopped until Ali had roused her. "Em, we're here" she says softly squeezing her Emily's hand in her own. They look at each other smiling softly, their gazes locking for a moment. It's amazing how often it happens, how easily they can get lost in each other. Emily clears her throat and breaks the eye contact first, knowing full well they could get lost in that stalemate for a forever.

"And where is 'here' Ali" she says warmly. Ali just answers with her signature smirk and gets out of the car, rounding it so she can open Emily's door.

"Why don't you come see for yourself" she says cryptically. Which makes Emily smile. Glad her Ali is still in there, the one who likes mysteries and riddles. She takes the blondes hand and gets out of the car. The air is unusually warm for this time of night, but neither girl minds. They walk together hand in hand until they're met with a familiar building. Emily stops and smiles widely to at the building she very much so recognises.

"Spencer's lake house?" she says out loud, more to herself than to Ali.

"Ah huh, Spencer's lake house. Remember that secret I told you to be patient for?" Alison asks, letting Emily put two and two together. When she sees the realisation cross her face she chuckles. "The good kind of secret right?".

"The best kind" Emily breathes out and turns to Ali and smiles as the blonde moves in and lays a soft kiss to her lips.

"Come with me, I want to show you something" Ali says as she takes the brunettes hand and leads her through the old lake house. Emily was initially confused as to why the house was all as dark as the night surrounding them. She was about to question is when Ali stopped abruptly. The blonde starts feeling around for something and sighs in contentment when she finds it. "Trust me?" she asks lightly.

"Always" Emily simply response, trying to get a control of her now racing heart. Ali smiles at the soft admission. She walks around Emily until she's directly behind her, standing so close that her front is touching the brunettes back. The blonde runs her hands up Emily's arms slowly. Emily can't help the small whimper that escapes her lips at the feeling of Ali surrounding her. She can feel her hands moving up to her shoulders, up her neck and into her hair. She can feel Ali's lips brush against her ear and she closes her eyes at how good it feels. Her skin erupts in goosebumps when she hears Ali whisper 'Good' slowly in her ear. Then before she can protest she feels a strip of cloth being tied around her eyes.

Ali moves from behind Emily and smirks at the noise Emily makes at the loss of her body behind her. She stalks around the brunette like she's her prey. Once she's directly in front of her she steps completely into Emily, taking her cheeks in her hands and placing another kiss on her lips like before, only this time it's deeper, like she's trying to tell Emily something. Like she's trying to tell Emily exactly how she feels. She pulls back and starts walking backwards to where their night will hopefully really start.

Emily follows Alison blindly, she's never felt like this before. Her heart is racing faster than she think's it ever has. She keeps forgetting to breathe, and she can feel that electricity starting to build in the air around them again. Suddenly she can feel the warm night air around her, she can smell a sweetness in the air, and she can hear the crickets singing. Most of all she can feel, she can feel Ali's hands in her's.

Alison stops them in the middle of the lake houses back veranda that looks over the lake and takes a deep breath in, trying to contain her nerves. She removes her hands from Emily's and takes a moment to appreciate her in the new found light. Her beautiful mermaid, her love. And that's who Emily is, _her love._ She's spent so long trying to hold in that admission. She was succeeding in that, until tonight, that kiss on the roof was the her last straw. As she stands there, soaking in this moment, she can't find herself caring. She knows she should be panicking, terrified. She's starting to see that it's hard to be scared of something you've felt for a decade. At that she raises her hands and takes off the blindfold. Smiling when Emily still doesn't open her eyes.

She brushes back her dark locks and cups one cheek gently stroking it with her thumb.

"Em, you can open your eyes" she says quietly.

With that permission, Emily does. She opens her eyes slowly, and when she does she gasps at what she sees surrounding her. The veranda is lined with twinkle lights, she smiles at how well Ali knows her. She continues to look around until her eyes stop on what's taking up most of the middle of the space.

"Ali, you made a fort?" she exclaims gently, looking on in wonder.

"You always loved when we made forts when we were younger. The truth? So did I. It was like our own little world, where nothing else could touch us" Emily smiles widely at the blonde's confession, she always thought it was just her that felt like that.

"I felt like that too" she whispers.

Ali extends her hand and Emily happily takes it and lets the blonde lead her to their own little world looking over the lake, and the stars. Ali motions for Emily to move in first, and follows her immediately. Slowly crawling in and settling herself amongst the pillows and blankets that cushion their new space.

"Ali this is… perfect" she finishes in a whisper when she turns to look the blonde in the eye. The blonde takes a big internal breath at Emily liking what she had planned for them. She lifts one of her hands and takes Ali's chin, moving it in so she can connect their lips, wanting to show Alison just how perfect it is. What was meant to just be one kiss, turns into two, then three.

Alison pulls back after the third kiss and her eyes flicker up to Emily's, there's a silent agreement between the two of them. She moves herself so she's on her knees, in front of her Emily. She leans in, running her hands through the brunettes goddess-like hair and reconnects their lips. It starts off slow, and languid. The electricity that's been building between the two all night starts to ramp up, and in that moment the blonde can't take it anymore. She has to show Emily how she really feels. She has to show her because she doesn't think she has it in her to say it out loud yet.

Emily sits up straighter so she can run her hands up Alison's thighs, pulling the blonde into her lap so she's straddling her. The kiss deepens when Emily allows Alison's tongue entrance, she lets out a low moan at the intrusion. She takes her hands and runs them up the back of Ali's dress, looking for the top of the zipper. Once she does she pulls back from the kiss, looking into the blondes eyes for permission. Alison see's the unspoken question and nuzzles her nose along the brunettes and nods slightly.

That was all Emily needed. She pulls down Alison's zipper, in a painfully slow manner. Once it's down enough she takes the skirt and pulls it over Alison's head. She smiles at the sight she's met with. Alison, in matching white lingerie. "Ali" she breathes out, mesmerised by the blondes beauty, taking one hand and tracing the lace of the blondes bra. The only response she gets is the blonde taking the hem of her shirt and taking it off her swiftly. Once the brunette is freed of her shirt, Ali wastes no time in reaching behind and unclasping the bra, desperate to feel her mermaid completely. She pulls back and starts to kiss the brunette again. Using her position to push Emily back into the pillows that surround them. Emily falls back easily, pulling the blonde with her. They take a moment to find their bearings again, Alison shifting herself on top of the topless brunette. Emily lets out a sigh at the feeling of having Ali's weight above her.

Both girls feel this inexplicable need to feel each other fully, so with a silent acceptance of what the other wants, they begin to slowly undress each other. First to go is Alison's bra, then Emily's pants, Alison's panties with Emily's closely follow. There's something so different about how this feels for them both. They're not rushing, there's no frenzy. They're being deliberate, careful, they're both trying to tell the other that one three word sentence they can't say out loud.

Alison moves her lips slowly from Emily lips, along her jaw, up her neck to her ear. "You're perfect" she whispers into the brunettes ear as she starts her descent down. Sucking on Emily's neck which causes a deep moan to erupt from the brunettes mouth. The response only spurs Alison on as she moves herself down to pay attention to Emily's breast. Encasing her lips around the brunettes right breast and sucking gently, whilst using a hand to slowly roll her other nipple between her fingers. This causes Emily to squirm under the ministration, her hands flying up and tangling effortlessly in blonde locks, encouraging Alison to continue. After a while, Alison attention shifts to Emily's abdomen, kissing every inch of skin she can. Nipping at some areas, sucking at others. Emily knows what Alison's doing, she's committing her body to memory.

Alison finally makes it to Emily's centre and stops, she takes a moment to look up to the brunette, wanting to stay as connected to her as possible. The brunette sees this and instead of letting Ali continue, and she really would love her to, this isn't what she's got in mind for tonight.

"Come here" she whispers, pulling the blonde up to met her lips, kissing her gently before turning them so she was now on top of the blonde. Ali lets out a soft grunt at the movement and goes to protest, before she can she feels a finger on her lips and the brunette smiling down at her. "I want you right here. I… I want to do this together" Emily admits and she kisses Alison's lips softly when she sees the blonde give up a little of her control.

At this, Emily decides to she's had enough of the slow burn, she can't take the cracking of the atmosphere around them, the silent buzz of that electricity. So she shifts her hips so that her thigh meets Ali's centre. She feel's Ali lift her thigh up so she can ride it. They slowly start to grind their hips down on each other. Both letting out a sigh of satisfaction. Their momentum doesn't change, their slowly build the pace. Going faster and faster when the need called.

"Emily, god" Alison moans out when the brunette moves her lips to start sucking just behind her ear, the one spot Emily has learnt Ali really likes. At the sound of Alison's moan, something snaps between the two. Emily rests herself on one arm, and using the other to move down Alison's body. Between her breasts, down her abdomen, until they find their way wading through Ali's folds. When Ali feels Emily's fingers go to where she really needed them, she takes Emily's head and pulls her down for an earth shattering kiss, removing one of her hands so she to can start working the brunette up.

They move in tandem, Ali moves her fingers over Emily's clit and starts to draw lazy circles around it which causes the brunette to shudder at the feeling. Emily reciprocates buy drawing what Alison can only assume is letters. She tries to pay attention to what Emily is drawing out. Her breath hitches when she realises what Emily is writing, over and over and over. M.I.N.E.

At that Alison moves her hand down to Emily's centre and enters her with one finger, surprising the brunette.

"Ali, god that feels so good" she whimpers out. Wanting to do this together, Emily meets Alison's action and inserting one of her long fingers into the blondes centre. They start to build a steady rhythm, both adding a second finger at the same time. The both moan incoherently at the same time. Their kisses growing sloppy when they start to feel their orgasms build. Alison's free hand finds itself tangled again in Emily's hair, keeping her as close as she can. The brunette starts to work her fingers harder and faster when she can feel Alison's walls tighten.

"Em, I- I'm close" Alison whimpers out.

"Me too baby, me too" Emily says as she buries her head into the crook in Ali's neck. Inhaling the blonde's scent deeply. The sensation of being so wholly surrounded, by her love causes Emily's orgasm to start hitting her, hard. It's like that electricity that's been swirling around them has hit her, like it's flowing through her body from the outside in. Alison falls over the edge soon after Emily, holding onto the brunette and slowing her hand down so they can ride out this electric feeling together. Eventually they both come back down from their highs and Emily collapses herself next to Ali, her head still buried in that spot in the crook of Ali's neck. All that can be heard is the sounds of the crickets sing and the two girls trying to regain control of their breathing.

They eventually do and Ali turns her head so she can look at Emily, who opens her eyes and is met with the deep blue gaze she's fallen for. Emily uses what energy she has in that moment to shift herself so they can look at each other properly. "Hey" she says quietly, a small smile breaking out on her face.

"Hey" Ali returns warmly. Taking one of her hands and playing with Emily's hair, something she's always just done, even when they were teenagers. "So, this was a good surprise?" she asks as her hand starts to work its way through the magical brown locks.

Emily nods happily and leans down to place a slow kiss to the blonde's lips, "Like I said, it's perfect. Ali this whole night's been perfect".

At that Ali raises one eyebrow in question "Even when I sat in your lap scared throughout that whole film" she says skeptically.

"Mmm, especially that bit. I like protecting you" Emily says happily, loving the feeling of Ali playing with her hair. At that admission Ali chuckles. "How did you convince Spencer to give you the lake house" Emily asks, curious.

"That wasn't hard. I think Spencer was happy that someone's happy. She's always had a soft spot for you Em. We all have" Emily raises her eyebrows at that, not entirely convinced. "What? It's true. It's something about your eyes" Alison says trying to convince the brunette. "Plus, she said I could have it as long as we stayed away from her Nana's couch. I don't know what's so special about it, but I promised. And she said it was all mine. I've always loved this house. It has the best view of the lake" Emily laughs at Spencer's conditions, she knows very well why the smart brunette doesn't want people on her Nana's couch.

"Em…" Ali starts, but doesn't know if she wants to ask the question now she's started.

"Yes Ali" Emily encourages, looking at Ali with her warming gaze. That was enough to help the blonde ask.

"I have a scan tomorrow. I just… can you come?" she splutters out, suddenly nervous.

Emily lift herself onto her elbow so she can properly look at Ali, "You don't have to ask Ali. I said I was here for you, every step of the way. That means I'll be at all the scans, I'm here for it all" they both smile as Emily bends down and reconnects their lips. She pulls back and looks deeply into the blondes eyes. "Ali, I'm here okay. I'm not going anywhere".

At that the blonde nods and smiles into another kiss. The kiss gently like this for a while longer before Emily moves herself so she's holding Ali from behind, holding her tightly.

Ali can feel Emily's breathing even out as she drifts off to sleep. She smiles at how perfect their night turned out. Despite the fact that they're here, in their little bubble she can't help but feel a nervousness gnawing at her stomach at the idea of having a scan tonight. This really wasn't how she planned on starting a family. There's one thought that keeps her going thought, the only one that makes it okay. The one thought that swirls around her head as she too drifts off to sleep in the brunettes arms.

 _At least I'm doing this with Emily, my Emily_

 **Authors Note: I firstly want to thank all of you guys reading this, you're support is so amazing. Secondly, here's the second part of date night. Could you feel it too? The electricity in the air. I loved the idea of using Spencer's lake house and having Ali ask and not Emily. I love the connection between Spencer and Alison, and this was just a little way to show how Spencer does care for our Ali.**

 **Now, the scan's coming up. Who else think's it's going to be all warm and fuzzy?**

 **It may be starting out that way, but let me tell y'all now, it's not going to end as well. Hope you're ready because next chapter we're about to take a turn down drama lane. Who's ready? I sure know I am.**


	11. Chapter 11: Left My Love

**_CHAPTER ELEVEN: LEFT MY LOVE_**

Her foot won't stop tapping, it's like it has a life of its own. She has no control over it, and the more she thinks about what she's about to have to do, it just make it worse. She feels Emily hand resting on her thigh to try and calm her down. She stops for a moment, calming at the thought of having Emily here with her for this. She couldn't imagine how she'd be right now if she decided to do this alone. Not that _that_ thought didn't run through her mind a million times since she was honest with her… girlfriend? God they haven't even talked about that yet. At the thought of all of these overwhelming things she has to deal with her leg starts tapping again and she hears the brunette sigh.

"Ali look at me" she demands and waits patiently for the nerve-wracked blonde to give her, her full attention. When she does she smiles, a slight look of pity gracing her face. Not in a condescending way, it's just… like Emily understands. "It's going to be okay" she says like a broken record. She sees Alison grimace at the mantra. "You know, I'm going to keep saying that until you believe me. I know you're stubborn as hell, but eventually if I say it enough, you'll start to believe me" Emily say, obviously trying to get the blondes mind of what's causing her so much unneeded stress.

"What do I tell her Em? My psychotic, abusive… dead ex-husband got me pregnant. She's going to ask questions. One's I don't really want to answer. And god Emily, what if it comes out like him. Or me… this kid has no chance-" Alison rambles until she's stopped by a finger shutting her lips so she couldn't work herself up completely.

"Ali, you need to breathe for me okay. Sure, this isn't the best situation. But you don't have to answer her questions if it's really too hard for you. She'll understand. And _if_ you decide to have this baby Ali, I have no doubt that he or she will be just as amazing as you are" Emily says strongly, trying to get Alison to believe her.

"How could you possibly know that?" Alison scoffs.

"Because" Emily starts with a soft voice, taking the blondes hand in hers, "They'll have you as a mother. I couldn't imagine anyone being luckier" Emily says, and she believes it. She wishes Alison could see how amazing she is. She wishes Alison could see herself the way Emily sees her.

"That's not true at all Emily" Alison says, locking eyes with the brunette.

"Oh? Care to prove me wrong?" Emily says attempting to lighten the mood a little, sensing Ali could use it.

"Yeah, I do actually. Anyone who has _you_ as a mother Em, they're the lucky ones. So so lucky" Alison says fervently. Emily sucks in a sharp breath at that confession. She never thought Ali would have thought of Emily in that way… as a mother.

"Ali-" Emily starts but is interrupted rudely by their OBGYN. A woman in her mid-forties, who's quite attractive. Her blonde hair is pulled up in a messy bun, and her eyes smile warmly. Emily's glad that Ali's seeing someone who seems like she won't give her the third degree about her whole…situation.

"Alison Dilaurentis" she says and they both jump apart, trying to forget about the direction their conversation was going.

"That's me" Alison says tentatively, standing with a slight apprehension. Emily stands too, taking the blondes hand in her's reminding her she's not in this alone. They look at each other before Ali follows behind her doctor.

They make it to the exam room. Ali has always hated coming to the doctors, it's sterile and smells like sick people. She hates the fact that everything is white, and she especially hates it when the doctors try and pull the whole friendly act. She just wants to go in, get checked and leave. She's not here to make friends, and she can tell this doctor is one who likes to be liked by her patients. _Well she's never had Alison Dilaurentis as a patient…_

They sit in the exam room, Alison on the bed and Emily sits on the chair next to her, not once letting go of her hand. The doctor sees this and smiles slightly to herself, already getting a picture of who this couple is. At least she thinks she does. Emily can sense that Alison doesn't trust this woman, and really she can't blame her. The blonde is always going to have trust issues, they all are.

"I'm Doctor Shepard, I'll be you OBGYN. Now I've never seen you before , do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" at this Alison stiffens. This was the part she was really hoping to avoid. She knows she hasn't got the most innocent past. She also knows that Doctor Shepard could easily look at her history and get the information she needed.

"Sure" Alison says shortly. Emily can sense Alison's discomfort immediately and gives her hand a gently squeeze, hoping to calm her down. She knows what Alison gets like when she feels threatened and it's not pretty. Spectacular sure, it's something people who aren't directly in her warpath actually marvel at, but being on the receiving end of her wrath is a almost like a death sentence. Luckily Emily hasn't really been on the receiving end of it. Sure there was that one time in senior year when she thought Ali was, A. That wasn't her proudest moment, she was just so desperate for it all to be over. Right now, she can tell that this doctor isn't going to get what she wants out of her.

"Do you know who the father is?" she starts off and both Emily and Alison share a look of disbelief that this is where she's choosing to start off.

"That's it. I can't. I cannot do this" Alison says as she starts to get up to leave. She feels Emily pressing her hand down on her thigh to get her attention, and it works.

"Alison, look at me. It's okay. I promise it's okay. Do you want me to answer that?" Alison looks hesitant at the offer but stiffly nods. Emily turns to the OBGYN and smiles tensely. She doesn't like her, she doesn't like how she seems to be trying to get a rise out of Alison. It's no secret the entirety of Rosewood knows who Alison is, she's a town legend, her whole family is. Right now Emily can feel her protective instincts kicking in.

"She does. He isn't in the picture anymore" Emily says shortly, knowing she isn't giving the doctor what she wants. _God I hate the people in this town sometimes. Once this is over I am taking Ali and we are getting the hell out of Rosewood._

Alison feels a smirk creep onto her face, she didn't think Emily would pick up on the odd nature of their doctor, a little proud at the snarky remark she gave.

"Alight then" Doctor Shepard lets out in a huff. "When do you think you the conception date was?" Alison grimaces at this question. She looks to Emily who can't quite look at her in the eye, but the gentle squeeze of her hand was enough to know it was okay.

"Well, if you're asking me the last time I slept with _Elliot_ …" at that Alison stops. Because if we are going from the last time she slept with Elliot-Archer whoever the hell he actually is, she should be a lot further along that she appears to be.

"Ali, it's alright" Emily says, not really grasping what it is that Ali is starting to realise.

"No it isn't Em" she says under her breath. She looks back at the doctor and tersely replies, "I'm not sure" she thought the vague response would be enough to quell any suspicions from the doctor, but more so from Emily.

"Okay then. How about we have a look at your baby then. I'm sure you'd love to see them" Doctor Shepard says, trying to figure out why the air in the room just shifted. "I'll step out for a moment, there's a patient gown behind you. Just pop that on and lay back on the bed. When you're ready just lay back and we can start the exam" she says as she leaves the room.

Emily can sense something isn't right, she can just feel something shifting with Alison. She just can't figure out what it is.

"I'll just step out too" Emily says quietly, wanting to give Alison all the privacy she deserves.

"No Em, please just stay. I don't like her, and frankly I don't want to be alone" Alison asks, and Emily stays put in her seat behind the bed.

"Ali, are you sure you're okay? You went really pale when she asked that last question…" she knows how as wants to finish this question, she just doesn't really know if she wants the answer. But she asks it any way, "Archer didn't… he didn't hurt you did he?".

Ali's head flies up at the question, "No Em, he didn't… Apart from the whole drugging me till I went insane and seducing me to free my sister from a psych hospital. No he didn't really hurt me" Ali rambles in the name of almost complete honesty. She just can't shake this feeling she's missing the bigger picture here. Emily doesn't respond, she doesn't need to. She stands and takes Ali in her arms, giving her a warm embrace to help her get through whatever this scan is going to throw at her. If the questioning was anything to go by, Emily is dreading what actually seeing this baby is going to do to Alison. She leans in and places a soft kiss to the blondes lips, Alison sighs into the embrace. Smiling lightly at the sweet gesture from Emily. Alison moves in and attempts deepen the kiss, but her plans are thwarted when she hears Doctor Shepard clearing her throat.

They pull away with bashful looks on their faces, Ali's signature smirk slowly erupting when she felt like she got a upper hand. She looks back to the brunette who is giving her a pointed glare, and she can almost hear Emily's warning tone 'Ali'. Which just makes her smirk even more, she loves it when Emily can read her. The brunette has always been the only person to really get her enough to know exactly what a smirk says, or a raise of just one eyebrow. She's got a talent… she's Ali-lingual.

"Alright Ms. Dilaurentis, can I get you to lay back on the bed. I'll apply some gel to your stomach… it's a little cold so I apologise for that" she explains as Alison begins to recline on the bed, not once letting go of Emily hand. "Okay, so I'm going to start moving the probe around. We'll get a good idea of how far along you are, I can tell just by looking at you, we're not far along enough yet to tell the gender of the baby. You're going to have to be patient with that" the doctors rambles on. Alison knows she's just trying to calm her nerves, but she's doing the exact opposite. Her voice is high-pitched, and her whole 'let's be friends' routine is slowly driving her insane. She'd know, she's been there before.

After a few minutes of the OBGYN looking at the scan, she sees a smile grace her face. "What, what is it?" Emily says, worried something's wrong with this baby. She knows she shouldn't be getting attached, but there's a part of her already creating a place in her heart for the little Ali and she's finding herself becoming more and more protective.

"You see that… it looks kind of like a jelly bean?" the doctor explains, pointing to the monitor. They both nod, not entirely sure what they're looking at. "Well, that's your baby Ms. Dilaurentis" at that both girls can't help the smiles that erupt on their faces. The sit there in awe, looking at the small blob on the screen.

"Ali, oh my god" is all Emily could manage. She turns to look at Ali and is comforted by the look of happiness being reflected back at her. It's not a total, overjoyed expression. But you can tell just by looking at Alison that she's accepted this pregnancy for what it is. And it's letting that truth break her. Truth be told she was kind of worried that Alison was going to react in the complete opposite way once she actually saw the scan. Alison smiles even wider when she sees a rogue tear fall from Emily's eye, she reaches up to get rid of it.

"There's my baby huh?" Ali says, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she's actually pregnant, and she's not completely broken up about it. Sure it's not an ideal situation, but with the way Emily is looking at her right now, she can't seem to care.

"That's your baby. Your… 4 week old foetus to be exact" Doctor Shepard explains, at that they both freeze.

"4 weeks?" Alison asks, a little taken back about how small her voice is.

"4 weeks, these scans are relatively accurate. I could be a few days, maybe a week off. But with the size of the sac, I would confidently say 4 weeks" the doctor explains as she begins to wipe of the gel on Ali's stomach.

There's a silence in the room as the two girls finally start putting two and two together. But apparently someone thought Emily needed a little more help with that. Because about twenty seconds after the doctor spoke, Emily could here her message tone. A tone she will always shudder at hearing. Expecting to to just be Hanna wanting to get all the gossip about their first date the brunette pulls out her phone and looks down at her screen. Paling immediately at what she reads.

 **"** **I told you if you didn't talk I'd use your eggs. Look at that little Fields growing. Do you think it's going to a better liar than you? A.D"**

Emily had to double take at that. She desperately wanted to believe that this was just A.D bluffing. But there's this consuming feeling that this isn't a bluff. That Alison is pregnant, just not with her child. Emily suddenly feels like the walls are caving in on her, it's like the world is imploding on itself. She looks at Ali smiling slightly at the scan and she can't take it. She just… how the hell was she supposed to explain this to her blonde. She finally understands Alison when she says this isn't how she wanted to start a family. Because sure she's dreamt of having a family with Ali since she was a teenager, just not like this.

The panic Emily was feeling when she first read that text message sky rockets and the enormity of the situation. She abruptly stands up scrambling to get her bag. "Emily, what's wrong?" she hears Alison worriedly ask from behind her. She makes it to the door but can't find the will to turn around. She knows she should stay in the room, she should stay here full stop but she just can't.

"I'm sorry" she forces out and rushes out the door without looking back. She scrambles to get her phone and immediately dials Aria's number, knowing she's the one person besides herself Alison would want to see. She hits the call button waiting for her tiny friend to pick up. "Come on, come on" she mumbles manically as she rushes into the carpark.

"Hey Em, what's up?" Aria says lightly.

"Aria, I need you to come to the Oakview Medical Centre and pick Alison up" Emily says brokenly, trying desperately to keep her tears at bay until she can end the call.

"Is everything okay Em?" Aria asks, that light tone giving way to one of worry.

"No Aria it isn't. Please just go pick her up" Emily rushes out harshly, cringing at how hard she sounded.

"Okay, okay. I'm leaving now" she says, Emily can hear her rushing around to gather her things. She doesn't say goodbye, she just hangs up the phone, jumps in her car and starts it. Immediately rushing herself out of the carpark and speeding off. She drives her way through Rosewood knowing exactly where she needs to go, who she needs to see. The brunette feels so crushingly overwhelmed by this whole situation. She doesn't know how she's going to face Alison. Not only does she have to figure out how to deal with this situation, if she's okay with it, what she wants, but she abandoned Ali when she needed her the most. So not only is she scared and confused and mad, she's also starting to feel the weight of her guilt from fleeing.

When she makes it to her destination, she parks the car and just sits for a minute. Breathing deeply in an attempt to get a hold of herself.

That lasts all of thirty seconds, because as the image of the blonde rushes through her mind. The sound of Ali's worried voice as she was leaving… it's too much. So the tears start to fall as a violent sob breaks through her throat. She wasn't sure driving here what emotion she was feeling, they were all swirling around her that she was getting them confused. But now she's stopped, all she can feel is anger. She's so angry at this whole situation. She's angry at the psychopath that just won't leave them alone. She's angry at Archer Dunhill because he's the one that's so obviously done this to Ali. She's so furious that some how she has to figure how how she feels about this, and she just doesn't know. So the only thing she _can_ do right now is take it out on her steering wheel, so she starts hitting it, _hard_. Over and over and over again, until she hears her door flying open. But that doesn't stop her fit of rage.

"Emily! Emmy, stop. Stop! you're going to hurt yourself" at the sound of her mother's panicked voice she stops and just turns to look at her. "What's happened Emmy?" she asks slowly, moving down to her daughters level, not wanting to set her obviously distraught daughter off again.

"Mom, I…" she can't even start her sentence before the sobbing takes over and she lets it completely envelop her.

"Alight honey, come on" Pam encourages, helping her only daughter out of the car and into their family home. She leads her into the living room and sits her on the couch, sitting next to her immediately and taking her Emmy in her arms. She's never seen her daughter this distraught. Not after she was kidnapped by Charlotte Dilaurentis, she was angry after just, but not to this extent. And after Wayne died, Emily was just really quiet. You could see she was breaking, but she tried her hardest to hide it away. The closest Emily has ever been to this state was when she found out Maya was killed. But this, this is something different and it worries Pam. She knows how easily Emily can self destruct. "Just breathe baby, breathe" she says soothingly, stroking her hair like she used to when Emily had nightmares.

Eventually the brunette starts to calm down a little, melting into her mothers embrace. This is what she needed. She needed her mother. Despite how their relationship almost broke when she had first come out to her mother, their relationship is something she cherishes now. She pulls back and looks Pam in the eyes. Her eyes starting to well up a little at the look of pity painted on her face. "I… I don't want to talk about it yet. Can I just stay here for a while?" she asks, knowing she's not in any state to face any of the girls right now. Not even Hanna.

"Of course honey, you don't have to ask. You can talk to me when you're ready" she returns, wiping the younger Fields wet cheeks. "Why don't you go wash up and I'll fix you something to eat?" she asks, trying to preoccupy her daughters mind.

"I'm not hungry" Emily responds, her voice still shaky from her crying.

"Well alright then, why don't you just go rest for a little while? I'll come check on you later this afternoon" she suggests and knows it was the right thing to do when she sees her daughter relax. Emily raises from the couch slowly, and walks off to the stairs. As she makes it to the bottom of the staircase she hears her Mom call out to her. She turns to see Pam standing in the living room, obviously worried at the state of her. She just stands there waiting for her hot to say whatever it is, she can't seem to find her voice right now.

"I'm here Emmy. Okay? When you're ready" Pam says warmly. Emily just nods stiffly and makes her way to her bedroom and closes the door. She just stands in the middle of the room trying to gather her thoughts. The one voice winning out over all the others is the one screaming at her. It just makes her eyes start to water again. She was so happy yesterday, and now here she is, and she doesn't know how she got here.

 _What the hell am I going to do?_

 **Authors Note: Well, the drama is only starting, and it looks like both girls are stuck in a hard place. We have Emily who now knows what happened to her donated eggs. She's got some stuff to work through. I can't wait to see how she deals with this. Let me tell you, I don't think she's got the healthiest coping mechanisms. We're going to see Dark Emily, which I am so looking forward to giving you. And how about our Ali? She was abandoned in that exam room and has no clue why. The next chapter we're going to see how Alison deals with that, it's going to be painful. Also who loves Pam Fields as much as I do. She's always been my favourite PLL Mum. She's going to play a very important role in helping Emily in dealing with this situation. That is, when Emily is ready to deal with it.**


	12. Chapter 12: Where's My Love?

**_CHAPTER Twelve: Where's My Love?_**

Alison is left sitting on the bed in the middle of the exam room looking at the door Emily just fled from. She immediately felt this sting of dread when she saw Emily's expression when she looked down at her phone. Alison's no stranger to getting threatening text messages, she's not a stranger to a lot of bad things. And she knows Emily isn't either. The thing that's got her the most worried is the fact that Emily wouldn't even look her in the eye. And the only conclusion Alison can reach is that the brunette just isn't as okay with all of this then she was letting on. This is what she was dreading, that the brunette wasn't okay with her being pregnant. Emily has spent the whole time after being told about it telling her she was okay, that she herself was going to be okay. Alison can't help the sinking sensation that _nothing_ is okay. Emily rushing out of the exam room was like this big warning sign that something bad is happening, and Alison has no control over any of it. Alison forgets about the scan, as happy as she is to see her baby growing in there, she's more panicked about the state of the brunette. She needs to make sure she's okay.

"I have to go" Alison says quickly, starting to get herself off the bed. She's stopped by the doctor's hands on her shoulders forcing her back on the bed.

"Ms. Dilaurentis, we're not finished here. I have a few more things I need to check out first" she says trying to calm her patient down.

"Well I'll reschedule" Alison says angrily. She _needs_ to go find Emily. Alison sends the doctor a warning glare that leaves no room for question.

"Okay, okay… I understand. We'll reschedule for later this week" she says hesitantly her way out of the room, when she makes it to the door she turns around to have her last say, "Alison, you really need to finish this scan okay. Prenatal care is really important" with that she opens the door and makes her exit. Once the door closes Alison wastes no time wiping the gel off her stomach and redressing so she can catch up to Emily. Once she's dressed she grabs her bag and rushes through the medical centre knowing Emily would be sitting in her car waiting for her. Emily is a lot like her in that way, when she feels overwhelmed she just needs a minute alone to regather her thoughts.

When she makes it to the carpark she looks to where she thought the car was parked, she's so confused when she's met with an empty space. Shaking her head she starts scanning her eyes through the lot to find Emily's car, her heart sinks when she realises it's not there. She rustles through her bag for her phone so she can call her. The sound of the dial tone rings through her ears, once, twice and it goes on until she hears Emily's message tone, _'Sorry I couldn't make it to the phone, wait for the beep, you know what to do'._ Not satisfied with just leaving a message she tries again. Only to be met with the sound of Emily's message tone.

She's startled by a hand on her shoulder, turning around expecting it to be Emily she's surprised when she sees Aria. She feels her stomach drop. _Something is wrong, something is very wrong._ "Aria… what are you doing here?" Alison says wearily.

"Em called me about five minutes ago" Alison squints her eyes. _So she can answer her phone._ "She asked me to come here and pick you up. Are you alright?" Aria asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Alison says, not wanting to really explain why she was here. The blonde still isn't sure if she's going to have this baby, and she doesn't know how to broach the whole subject with her friends. They can be very judgemental and very passionate, and quite frankly a little intense. She's damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

"Emily sounded… panicky. I asked her if everything was okay and she said flat out 'no' before hanging the phone up. I tried ringing again but she isn't answering. Ali… what is going on?" Aria responds, not liking the unsettled atmosphere surrounding them.

"I could answer that Aria, but one, I'm not ready. And two I'm not entirely sure yet. Can you take me to the loft? I just want to make sure Em is okay" Alison requests, not leaving much room for Aria to push any further with her questioning.

"Yeah sweetie, sure. My car's just over there" Aria relents, knowing how headstrong the youngest Dilaurentis can be. Aria knows Ali is still prone to snapping and tapping into her inner bitch and it is not a pretty thing to be on the receiving end of.

They get in the car and Aria starts wading her way through the streets of Rosewood. Alison can feel her leg tapping again, she has all this nervous energy and she has no where to let it out. If this had been ten years ago she would have just bit someone's head off, or made a really snide comment to someones face. Regretfully, Hanna was normally on the receiving end of that coping mechanism and it's the reason they're not closer nowadays. They pull up the curb next to the building Emily and Hanna live in and Alison takes a second to recollect her thoughts. _You're okay and Emily is okay and we're all okay._

"You want me to come in?" Aria asks lightly, wanting Alison to know she has someone here for her if she needs it.

"No, no I'm fine. I just need to talk to her about some stuff. Em's been a little jumpy lately with school and applying for jobs" Alison says, not feeling guilty about lying, because that was true, it's just not very relevant right now.

"Alright then, just call me if you need anything Ali" Aria says knowingly, she can sense something isn't right, she just can't figure out what that is yet. She does know Alison will open up to her when she's ready, and not a moment sooner.

Alison looks up to the building and takes a big breath in, _we're okay, we're okay, we're okay._ She mumbles to herself, trying to quell the nervous energy that is now surrounding her. Eventually she gets a hold of herself and walks quickly up to the second floor. When she makes it to door, she takes another shaky breath and knocks with three taps. She waits a little longer then she thinks she should so she goes to knock again, but as her hand almost hits the wood of the door it flies open and she's met with the surprised face of Hanna.

"Ali, hey. What are you doing here?" Hanna says, not expecting to see either of the girls for a while after their date night.

"Hey Han, I was just looking for Emily. She isn't answering her phone and I need to see her" Alison says in a small voice. She's starting to feel a wave of nausea hit her, not entirely sure if it's The Emily Situation or morning sickness.

"Oh… she isn't here. Do you want to come in?" Hanna says moving to the side as an offer for the blonde.

"No thanks, not that I wouldn't love to. But I'm good Han. I just really need to talk to Em. Do you know where she is?" Alison questions not wanting to get off task. If this were any other day she'd love to sit and talk to Hanna. They actually have a lot in common and she'd love to have a proper do-over with her fashion-obsessed friend.

"I haven't spoken to Em since last night. I just assumed she was with you. Ali… is everything okay?" Hanna asks hesitantly, starting to think that something else is going on. She's gotten really good at reading between the lines with Alison.

"I don't know Han. I will know the answer to that when I speak to Em" Alison lets out in a frustrated sigh.

Taking pity on her quite obviously not okay friend, Hanna points her in the right direction, "How about you try her mothers house? Pam got back from Texas last night and Emily hasn't seen her for a while. Maybe she's just catching up with her mom".

"What is it with you and calling our parents by their first names. You know Em's mom would hate that you do that" Alison lets out in a huff, she needs to take her frustrations out on someone, and right now Hanna is in her line of fire. Hanna just shrugs which only fuels her frustration.

Hanna softens when she sees that Ali is clearly anxious to see the brunette, "Ali, just go to her mom's house okay. If she's not there, then I'm really not sure. Maybe she's at work. I'll tell her your looking for her if she turns up okay?", at that Ali just nods slightly and takes her leave. _She's okay, Em's okay, we're all okay._ She hesitates at the door before Hanna can close it. Hanna sees the internal struggle on Ali's face, "What's wrong?" she questions softly.

"She… she drove me this morning. I haven't got a car" Ali says in a small voice.

"How did you get here?" Hanna asks bluntly.

"Aria picked me up from… she picked me up. I told her I was fine because I thought Em was going to be here" Alison says with a hint of what Hanna thinks is panic.

"Okay Ali just relax. I'm stuck here all day with work, take my car" she says reaching for her keys.

Alison gives her a confused look, "No, you don't have to do that… I can-" she's cut off by Hanna's finger on her lips.

"Alison, take the keys and go find Emily. If I need to go anywhere, I'll make Caleb take me. He doesn't trust my driving anyway" Hanna says leaving no room for argument. Alison takes the keys and lets out a small 'thank-you' before turning on her heel and rushing down to the garage to find Hanna's car.

Alison gets in the car and makes her way to Emily's childhood home as quickly as she can, she still can't quell the mounting anxiety, which hasn't helped the nausea that's been building since Emily abandoned her in that exam room. She parks her car on the street in front of the house and tries to control her breathing. She quickly gets out of the car and makes her way to the front door. _Please be here._

She knocks and waits. She thinks maybe she hasn't knocked hard enough when she's been waiting longer than she thinks she should. She goes to knock again but before her knuckles could meet the door she's met with a surprised Pam Fields. "Oh Alison, hello" she says with a warm hesitation.

"Hello Mrs. Fields. Is Emily here?" Alison asks shakily and she curses her voice for betraying her. Pam looks at the blonde in front of her and starts putting two and two together. She has a sneaking suspicion that the state of her daughter has something to do with the young Dilaurentis. She's always liked Alison, she's just never liked the hold she has over her Emily. She mulls over what she should tell Alison.

Eventually deciding to respect Emily's wishes to 'not talk about it', "She is Alison, but I think she just needs to be alone right now, I can tell her you came by though" she responds softly, not wanting to upset the girl in front of her. That was not what Alison wanted to hear. That feeling that Emily really wasn't okay with all of this sky rockets and that nausea hits her like a tonne of bricks. "Oh… Okay, that would be great. Thanks" she manages to force out before turning and fleeing to Hanna's car.

She doesn't wait around, she doesn't try to compose herself, she just drives. She makes her way out onto a main road without checking for any other cars and hears a loud honking coming from her right. She slams on her breaks and braces herself for the impact, but it never comes. She opens her eyes and takes a deep breath in when she sees they hit their brakes early enough. She doesn't wait around, hitting the accelerator and making a hasty exit, she just wants to get home. She tears down Bridgewater Terrace and slams her breaks on when she makes it to her front drive. She throws her car door open, and slams it shut with more strength than she thought she had in that moment.

Alison quickly makes it into her house and locks her door. She feels incredibly dizzy, and she can't get control of her breathing. She can't believe this is happening, she thought they were okay. They _were_ okay. The brunette just wasn't very honest with her, and she's kicking herself for doing it again. For letting her walls down and opening up to someone, only to get her heart broken… _AGAIN._ She feels her stomach churn and that nausea makes itself known. She rushes through her house until she makes it to the downstairs washroom, throwing the door open and emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She's not sure how long she's in that washroom for, but after there's nothing left in her stomach to throw up she flushes the toilet and rinses her mouth out.

Unfortunately that dizziness from before never dissipates and she feels like the floor is shifting beneath her feet. She makes her way though her living room trying to grab purchase on anything, but she's not that lucky. Her hearts racing, her breathing it totally out of control and she can't focus, all she can see is black spots clouding her vision. Before she can make it further into the living room she feels herself fall to the floor. Everything goes black before she feels herself hit the ground. The last thing the runs through her mind… _we're not okay._

 **Authors Note: We'll here's Ali's response. She's not taken to well to the fact that she feels like she's losing Emily, really losing her. Which is a little parallel to what happened in 7x14. Whilst this was certainly more dramatic, in both this chapter and in the last episode we see Ali dealing with the thought of losing her Emily.**

 **I wonder how they're going to navigate this mess now. Will Emily decide if she is or isn't okay with the news she's learnt from A.D. Will she tell Ali. And how is Alison going to deal with Emily not wanting to see her. We're going to see the friendships between the girls both flourish and be tested.**

 **I also just want to comment on 7x14. Sasha absolutely slayed, I'm loving ALL of her scenes this season. Whilst I'm not thrilled about some of the things that happened (** ** _the Paily kiss),_** **I am still keeping the faith that Emison is endgame. Enjoy!**


	13. Chapter 13: Warpath

**_CHAPTER THIRTEEN: WARPATH_**

She knows what she's doing right now isn't the healthiest way to deal with her current crisis, but she just… can't deal with any of it. She can't get the look of horror out of her head when she imagines telling Ali the truth. The biggest thing is she has no idea how she feels about all of this. A few days ago she was just Emily Fields, graduating from college, hopefully about to start a new job, and very much in love with her best friend. Now she's a very confused person who has no idea what she really wants. Emily hadn't even _considered_ the thought of children, like most people her age, she's been more focused on her career and falling for Alison. That's what people her age are _supposed_ to be dealing with. Not this. Not a crazed psychopath who impregnated her Ali with _her_ eggs. That's so beyond anything Emily ever thought he, she, it would do.

But that doesn't change the facts. Alison is pregnant. She is pregnant, just not with her baby. Alison hadn't even decided what she wanted to do, if she was going to keep it. Emily's pretty sure Alison wasn't going to, she's seemed rather unattached to the whole concept of being pregnant. So not only does Emily have to figure out what she wants, she has to decide if she even tells Ali. Because if she does, Emily just _knows_ Ali will keep it. She knows the blonde wouldn't have it in her to terminate the baby knowing it's Emily's and not her's. _God this is such a colossal mess._

So what was Emily's way of dealing with all of this? Running, she ran like there's no tomorrow. She fled that exam room like it was on fire. She ran to the one place she knew she'd be able to fall apart and it be okay. It is okay… as long as her mother doesn't find out she's also running with a bottle of whiskey attached to her hand. That wonderful amber fluid that just lets her forget if she drinks enough. It lets that throbbing pain in her chest numb. It quiets the noise in her head. And just for a little while she doesn't picture that look of horror on Alison's face. Unfortunately for everyone else, she's a little volatile when she drinks. Which actually, is a bit of an understatement. She's always been an angry drunk. She tends to lash out on those closest to her. Normally it's Hanna, which is good because Hanna can take it. Emily just doesn't know how much more of it the snarky blonde will take this time.

The last time she decided running from everything using whiskey was a good idea was after her dad died, and she _really_ took it out on Hanna when she came back to Rosewood for the funeral and to take care of her mother. She couldn't deal with the idea of actually going to her dad's funeral so she drank enough to feel numb and just sat there staring blankly at his coffin for the entire ceremony. Right now, she's sitting in her bedroom staring blankly at the ceiling trying to figure everything out. Which isn't going so well because she's just passed the point of tipsy and she's not making the connections she needs to, and it's infuriating her. She's roused from her staring when she hears a quiet rapping at her door. She quickly hides her whiskey under her bed like she's a teenager and makes a noise to let the person on the other side of the door know that it's okay to enter.

When she looks up she's surprised to see it's Hanna and not her mother. She doesn't say anything she just locks eyes with her closest friend and gives her a sad, almost pained look. Hanna can see Emily's inner turmoil and softens. She did come over here to yell at her for ignoring all her phone calls and text messages, but she can see now Emily's dealing with something.

"What are you doing here Hanna?" Emily says almost darkly. All she wanted to do today was lay on her bed, stare at her ceiling and drink her whiskey.

"Pam let me in on her way out" Hanna says in a nonchalant tone, not wanting to give away her concern at Emily's off manner.

"Han, what have I said about calling our parent's by their first names?" Emily huffs out.

"A lot actually, I'm just not listening" Hanna responds quickly and moves to sit on Emily's bed. The brunette doesn't move and just goes back to staring at the ceiling, not liking being under the scrutinising glare of Hanna Marin. "Are you going to tell me why you're ignoring me, and Aria _and_ Spencer… the girl sitting in a hospital bed with a hole in her arm" Hanna questions bluntly. Always the one to get straight to the point. Which Emily usually finds endearing, just not today.

"Nope" Emily lets out with a pop, and it's true, she has absolutely no intention of talking to Hanna about any of this.

"Alright then… Are you going to tell me why you smell like a dirty bar?" Hanna questions whilst sniffing in Emily's general direction.

"Well Hanna, that would be because I _was_ at a dirty bar last night" she hits back with a harshness to her voice she didn't even know she was capable of.

"Is there any particular reason why you needed to be in a dirty bar last night?" Hanna questions, realising she has to tread lightly here.

"There is, but I don't want to talk about it. Which is _why_ I've not answered your barrage of texts and calls. I. Don't. Want. To. Talk" Emily lets out in that same harsh, cold tone. Tired of playing this game with Hanna, Emily reaches down and pulls up the bottle of whiskey. Taking a healthy swig before offering some to Hanna. "Want some?" she offers lightly.

"What? No. Are you kidding me right now Emily. It's nine o'clock in the freaking morning. What is going on with you?" Hanna asks, the worry evident in her voice.

"If I answer that, it would mean I would have to talk about it Han-na. And i just don't wanna do that. What I do want to do is drink this whiskey" Emily explains sternly, leaving no room for argument. Unfortunately for her that's never stopped Hanna.

"Did something happen with Ali?" Hanna hesitantly questions, already a little suspicious that this is why her friend is trying to numb herself with whiskey.

"Why would you think that?" Emily asks flippantly, not wanting to give anything away.

"Because she was at the loft a few days ago. She was actually on the verge of panicking… in a very Alison Dilaurentis way. I'm surprised she didn't lash out at me and call me Hefty. That would've been a painful trip down memory lane… for he both of us" Hanna explains, trying to get the brunette to open up a little bit. She waits a minute or two for a response and huffs when she doesn't get one. "This _is_ because of Ali isn't it? What did she do?" Hanna asks, starting to get her back up. She knew this would happen, she _knew_ Alison would break Emily.

"What? Hanna, why do you think she did something to me?" Emily asks as she bolts upright in an unsteady fashion.

"Duh, because she's Ali and you're Emily…" the blonde explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"You need to learn about not jumping to conclusions so quickly, you truly have a talent" Emily snaps back and takes another hearty shot of whiskey.

"What else am I supposed to do Em? You're not actually using your words and talking" Hanna sighs in frustration. They stare at each other intensely, neither one wanting to back down.

"I think you should leave now" Emily grounds out, feeling that familiar drunk anger starting to boil beneath the surface. Most of her wants Hanna to leave because she wants to be alone, she needs to be alone so she can feel, or not feel, without the judgement. There's another small part of her that wants Hanna to leave because she doesn't want to bite her head off, the sober part of her would know the blonde doesn't deserve it. Problem is, she's not even close to sober at the moment.

"Emily, no. You're not going down this road _again"_ Hanna stresses 'again', she knows the signs for Emily spiralling, and she can see it happening right before her. "I am _not_ going to let you spiral Emily Fields. Not when you have something really good and I thought I'd never say this about Alison, but something really _genuine"._

"I'm not going to ask _again,_ Hanna. Leave. Now" Emily says in a tone Hanna has never heard from the normally kind-hearted brunette.

Hanna sits their wavering, she's really stuck between a rock and a hard place. "Em-" Hanna starts but she's cut off by the brunettes ring tone. Emily just sits there ignoring the ringing phone. Hanna huffs and answers it without looking at the caller ID. "Emily Field's phone, how may I be of service?" the sickly sweet tone in Hanna's voice just makes Emily roll her eyes. "Oh… Principle Hackett. Hello. I'll just get her" the blonde shoves the phone in Emily's face, forcing her to take the call. "You'll hate both me and yourself if you ignore this, and I'm not okay with either of those options" Hanna whispers harshly.

Emily relents and takes the phone, "Principle Hackett, it's so good to hear from you" she starts with a surprising amount of false enthusiasm. If Hanna wasn't so pissed at her, she'd be impressed. "I did? That's fantastic" Emily responds with the faint hinting of a smile. "Yeah, I can meet in your office tomorrow morning. When am I expected to take over?" Emily questions, liking the idea of having something else to throw herself into other than trying to figure out the mess that is now her life. "Oh, so soon?… No, no it's perfect actually. I will, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Goodbye" she ends the line and throws her phone across the room.

"What the hell was that?" Hanna asks not quite connecting the dots.

" _That_ Han, was me getting a new job. See? Not spiralling" Emily response smugly, a smirk painted across her face.

"I still think you're spiralling, this is just a really great, and convenient way for you to hide that" the blonde observes.

"You know before that phone call, when I asked you to leave? I meant it Han. I still want to be alone. So can you… leave?" Emily reminds as she takes the bottle of whiskey and resumes the activity she has planned for the rest of the day.

"Fine" Hanna huffs, "I do have one question for you though, and then I promise I'll get out of your hair" at this Emily just looks at her with raised eyebrows. "What are you going to do if Ali turns up? And she's going to. It's great you got this new job, but I think you're forgetting Ali is also a teacher at that school. Are you going to keep ignoring her, or are you going to stop being such a bitch baby and _talk?_ " Hanna asks softly, not wanting to aggravate the broody girl in front of her. Emily just averts her eyes to the ceiling again and ignores the question.

At that Hanna stands to make her exit, finally getting the message that Emily is not in the mood to communicate at all. She's impossible to get through to when she's like this. People wouldn't guess it, but the new swim coach is insufferably stubborn. When she makes it to the door Hanna stops, always having one last thing to say, "Em, whatever it is that happened between you and Ali, I'm here when you do want to talk" and with that she leaves the brunette to her bottle of whiskey.

When Emily hears her front door close she lets out a sigh of relief. Relief that is short-lived, because now all she's left with are the thoughts swirling around her head. She's been so confused about how she feels or what it is that she's feeling. As she takes another swig of whiskey, there is one thing she can get a grasp on. She's so, so angry. She's angry at A.D, she's angry at herself, she's angry at the world. She's angry that she was finally getting the girl and now she's here. Probably losing the single best thing that's ever happened to her and all she can do is lay there drinking and staring at her freaking ceiling. She keeps telling herself she just needs time. Time to figure this all out, time to make it better, time to _do_ something. All she wants to do is go to Ali and hold her. To apologise and show her exactly how she feels. She just wants to be happy and love Alison. Because she does, she's not afraid to say it to herself. She's completely in love with Alison Dilaurentis, she never stopped. But right now is the first time she's ever felt like she's not good enough for the blonde. Which is probably the biggest reason she's spiralling, and she can't seem to get a hold of anything. She feels like she has no control over anything in her life, but the amount of whiskey she pours into her body… that she can control.

 _What the hell am I going to do?_

 **Authors Note: Well here we are… Angsty Emily. I do love an angsty Em. She's snarky and jaded and angry. She's a girl with a huge chip on her shoulder. A girl who can't get a grip on what she wants and what she has to do. It's always fun having a little Hannily interaction too. I love that Hanna is always there for her when she needs it, and knows when to back off too.**

 **Now I know some people might think this is OOC for Em. I've got two things to say to that. 1. It really isn't. When things get tough for her personally she bolts. She did it when both Maya and Wayne died in canon-ville. Also the new Emily is a girl with a chip on her shoulder, and she is an angry drunk.**

 **Now, who's looking forward to seeing where our beloved Ali is at? Last time we saw her she was passing out. How do you think she's going to react to Emily working at good ol' RHS? Things are about to get very bumpy and very angsty.**

 **I could say don't worry, they're endgame. But I'm taking a leaf out of Marlene's book and I'm going to keep you all guessing. What do you think? Are they endgame in _this_ story? **

**Addendum: After a specific guest's review I want to highlight that this isn't a cheap dig at Marlene at all. Please do not read it as so, I actually enjoy the fact that she can keep things a secret. Despite how frustrating that can be. Also, I want to add that Paige will not be in this story in any capacity other than that one scene at the start. In this universe she went off elsewhere. I have no intention of painting Emily as some kind of womaniser or a woman who has commitment issues. This something that is being built on now. Sure I had the characters at the start preach that they want to be honest with each other. That right there is the theme of this whole piece. People are human, people make mistakes, and sometimes people relapse, or fall back into habit. That is an incredibly human thing to do, and I'm not here to** **portray them as two women who are suddenly completely different people. It's a learning curve for the both of them, one in which, they fall on their asses and with hold certain truths. It will be address in later chapters. I promise. Rant over.**


	14. Chapter 14: Hurts Like Hell

**_CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Hurts Like Hell_**

She's been worried about her friend for days now, not expecting Alison to ignore all of her calls. Since they've all come back to Rosewood, the blonde has jumped at any and every chance to be with any of the other four girls. Aria thinks it has something to do with making up for lost time, and maybe some lingering guilt. Either way, the writer has thoroughly enjoyed being able to actually get close to Alison. Not close like when they were teenagers. But actually having deep conversations, talking about literature and the world and love, and getting to learn so much about the once heavily guarded girl. Alison and Aria have gotten especially close over the past couple of months, learning they actually have a lot in common. Aria muses that Ali has a lot in common with each of them, but their friendships are all still a little complicated.

There's Hanna, who still holds a little grudge from high school, there's Spencer who they have that whole twisted family thing going on, and then there's Emily… who Aria is pretty sure the blonde has also always loved back.

So when Alison was ignoring her rather persistent attempts at checking in, Aria got a little worried. She expected Alison to drag her to coffee at The Brew so she could gush over how amazing there date had been. Instead, she's gotten nothing but radio silence. Which is unnerving, because she really expected Ali to be all full of love and she'd have to shut her up. She loves Emily, but there are things she doesn't need to know. How _amazing_ her lips are, is not a need to know piece of information.

Aria hesitantly makes her way up the stairs to Alison's porch and knocks on the front door softly. She doesn't have to knock loudly, even if Ali's asleep, some how the blonde has the keenest sense of hearing. Being on the run for years will do that to you she guesses. When she waits a little while, she tries to see if the door's unlocked. Aria lets out a grunt of annoyance when she's met with the locked door. It's not a total surprise. Ali is always locking doors, she gets it, it all in the name of trying to stay safe. It's just really annoying right now. So Aria looks around Alison's porch for anything that looks like it's disguising a spare key. _Who am I kidding, there's no way she'd hide a spare key out here._

Aria only has one thing left to do, she's going to have to resort to lock-picking. Spencer was very adamant about teaching all the girls how to pick all different kinds of locks when the were teenagers. What to use, how to do it, how quickly they can do it. Spencer would often drag Aria and get her to pick the same lock over and over, whilst stressing "Come on, Team Sparia needs to be all about equality. That means lock picking too" the memory makes Aria smile softly. She digs into her purse and finds a loose bobby pin, hearing Spencer's voice in her head "Not a safety pin Aria, always a bobby pin".

Fortunately, Ali has a lock that's easy enough to pick. When she hears the lock give way, Aria smiles to herself again thinking Spencer would be so proud of her right now.

She pushes herself into the Dilaurentis house, feeling more comforted in it these days now Ali's put her own decorative touch on it. Aria always thought it used to resemble a dollhouse and it really creeped her out. The house right now, made her feel a little unnerved. It was quiet, like deathly quiet. "Ali? Are you home?" she calls out.

Aria gets nothing in return and thinks that maybe Alison's just gone for a walk. She turns to leave, a little deflated after her efforts. As she makes it back to the door she stops when she hears what sounded a lot like a sob. Aria pauses and holds her breath when she waits for the sound again, and sure enough she hears it a little louder this time.

"Ali!" Aria yells a little louder, "It's Aria, where are you sweetie?" she asks as she starts searching the house, receiving nothing by the ticking of her grandfather clock as a reponse. When she scopes the whole bottom floor to no avail she realises exactly where the blonde would be. In her old bedroom. With that she bolts upstairs to find her upset friend. When she makes it to the closed bedroom door she raps on it lightly, not wanting to startle Alison. Met with only the sound of Ali's whimpers and sobs, Aria opens the door to find the blonde curled up in the middle of the bed, hugging herself with tears streaming down her face. Aria rushes to the girls side and puts her hand on her back to make sure the blonde is aware someone is there for her.

When Alison feels a hand on her back she looks up to see her small brunette friend, which causes tears to start streaming down her face even faster. That is _not_ the friend she was hoping to see, she need _her_ brunette. Not able to actually formulate words, she allows Aria to pull her into a hug and she holds onto her, much like a little girl would with her doll. They sit there for a while, Alison feeling slightly soothed but the gentle back and forth of Aria's rocking.

"Ali, do you want to talk about it?" Aria asks above her small whimpers.

"I… I think I need to" Alison lets out in a staggered breath. The response shocked Aria slightly, not expecting Alison to be so open to giving up information so freely.

"Okay, well I'm here when you're ready" Aria says, not stopping the gentle swaying motion, picking up on the fact that it's really calmed her friend.

After another few minutes of silence, Alison decides something, in the spirit of being a better version of herself, she's going to talk. "Aria… I'm going to tell you something and I need for you to keep it to yourself for a little while at least. Not forever… it's not a secret. I just need more time…" Alison starts as she tries to focus on the swaying motion. It's helping her collect her thoughts, it was something her mother did when she was a little girl.

When all she hears is a quiet 'of course' from her friend, she takes that as the green light to let this off her chest. "Emily came with me to that medical centre" she starts.

"She's known this for a while now. She's been really great with it as well. She was _there_ for me" Alison shudders out, not liking using the past tense to describe what Emily has been to her. "I'm pregnant Aria" she breathes out not wanting to look the other girl in the eye.

There's a weighted silence in the air as Aria tries to digest what the blonde's just told her. She was sure she heard wrong, but when she looks down at her friend, with one hand holding her stomach, her heart breaks a little.

"Alison, how long have you known about this? How… How far along are you?" Aria asks, trying not to sound to shocked by the news.

"Well, the OBGYN said I'm four weeks along. I'm closer to five now. It's too early to hear a heartbeat or anything, but when we went to the scan we _saw_ it. It honestly didn't feel real up until that moment. But I _saw_ it" Alison rambles through sniffs, tears still slowly rolling down her cheeks.

"Is this why you're so upset? Is it about the pregnancy?" Aria asks hesitantly.

"Partly" Alison responds in a whisper.

"What's the other part?" Aria asks in a soothing tone.

"Emily" the blonde whimpers out as she pictures the brunette in her mind's eye. It's only been a few days and she misses her. Like she really _misses_ her. Alison takes a breath to try an calm herself a little before she continues. "She said she was going to be here for me, that she was going to support me in any decision I make. But when we were at the scan, she looked at her phone… and she just up and left. I've tried getting a hold of her, I went to the loft, I went to her house… she doesn't want to talk to me" Alison explains dejectedly.

"Alison, have you considered maybe she got a message from A.D?" Aria asks, trying to pick and choose her questions carefully. Truth be told, she's got a million and one different questions running through her head right now.

"The thought did cross my mind. I think she did. She looked… sick to her stomach" Alison starts, because she has come to this conclusion. Lord knows she's had enough alone time in the past couple of days to come to it. "But it doesn't matter if this is A.D or not Aria. That's not why I'm upset" Alison responds, her voice breaking at the end.

"Why _are_ you so up set then?" Aria asks, running her hand through blonde hair, trying to give the girl as much comfort as she possibly can.

"We've been so much better. We've actually been talking. Not just jumping to all the wrong conclusions. It's the reason we've finally come to a point where we wanted to try _something_. We were doing this whole being honest with each other thing. We both came to this agreement that we were done with lying to each other".

"What do you think she's lying to you about?" Aria asks, not quite following Alison's line of thought.

"She not! That's the point Aria. She's not doing anything. She's not talking. She's not lying to me, but not talking to me feels _just_ as bad. I guess I deserve this though" Alison whimpers as another sob breaks from her throat.

"What? Ali no. How can you think that?" Aria asks, more shocked by that than learning about the pregnancy.

"I was ten times worse to her back then" Alison explains, in reference to when they were younger.

"Alison, no. You were teenagers. You're allowed to be confused and make mistakes. You're allowed to do that and grow from it. And look at you, you've learnt so much and you've grown into this amazing person. Emily not talking to you right now, she knows better and we both know that" Aria responds reverently, wanting to make sure the blonde hears her.

"I can't do this alone. What am I going to do Aria?" Alison asks in a lost tone. Because it's true, she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know if she's going to keep this baby. She doesn't know what she's going to do if Emily decides she actually can't do this. The thought of having lost Emily for good makes her feel sick to her stomach.

"I don't know. I- I really don't. But Ali, you're _not_ doing this alone. I'm here okay. And if you decide to tell Spencer and Hanna, they'll be here too. And despite her poor way of showing it, Emily is here. Whatever it is that's got her running scared, maybe she just need some more time. We love you Alison, there is no way you're alone in any of this" Aria explains gently, hurt to think Alison thinks she doesn't have anyone in her corner.

Alison doesn't say anything to that, she senses she doesn't really need to. But as she sits there in Aria's arms, rocking she can't really find a enough comfort in her words. She's spent hours upon hours over the past few days trying to figure out why Emily wasn't honest with her. The blonde can feel something isn't right, she just can't put her finger on it.

"Have you eaten?" Aria asks, wanting to get Ali's mind off all of this for a minutes at least.

"I'm not hungry" Alison responds blankly, still lost in her own thoughts.

Aria takes her hand and pulls Alison face around so she can look her in the eye, "That's not what I asked" she says slyly. "I'm going to go fix you something, and you are going to eat it. Why don't you go have a shower, it might make you feel better" Aria commands gently as the two start to shift off the bed.

"Are you suggesting I smell Aria" Alison asks with her signature eyebrow raised. Which makes Aria smile at the very Alison look plastered across her face.

"I was trying to be nice about it" she says as she shrugs her shoulders. "Now go smelly, by the time your done I'll have something for you to eat" Aria says as she leaves the room and makes her way down the the kitchen.

Alison stands in her bedroom, looks to the ceiling and takes a big, deep breath in. She gathers some things and makes her way to the bathroom, convinced a shower may actually help her feel a little better. When she makes it into the shower and holds herself under the hot stream of water, she feels a small bit of comfort at the feeling of the water on her skin. She really doesn't know what she's going to do. She doesn't know if her and Emily are going to be okay. She's so lost right now and she doesn't know how to deal with feeling like this. She hasn't felt this out of control since she was in prison, and that was because she literally had no control over anything.

She cringes internally when she remembers she's only been given today off, she has to return to work tomorrow. The blonde muses to herself that maybe it isn't the worst thing. Having a few hours where she can have something to distract her mightn't be the worst thing in the world. Then she feels one stray tear fall down her cheek as she thinks to herself…

 _The worst is already happening._

 **Authors Note: Here's another update… I'm posting this now because I'm not too sure when I'll be able to update again. Life's… life. What did you think of this chapter? I love the relationship between Ali and Aria. Also, who doesn't love a reference to Team Sparia?**

 **So Ali's lost and Emily's angry. That's where the news A.D has thrown at them has forced them to land. We'll see how those emotions are tested next chapter when Emily learns she won't be able to avoid Alison forever. It'll be interesting to see how Ali reacts to finally seeing Emily after the exam-room-run fiasco happened.**

 **Like always, thank you so much to you guys for reading along with me. I hope you're all liking where I'm taking this story. Yes I am taking inspiration from what's happening on the show. This is just my own little spin on it.**

 **I would like to address a guest review… again. You were right, it was a tacky of me to poke fun at Marlene. So I apologise for upsetting you, and anyone else that it offended. So in the spirit of that apology and transparency… this is an endgame story. I've already written it out and let me tell you guys, I think you're really going to love what's in store. At least I really hope you do.**


	15. Chapter 15: Don't Forget About Me

**_CHAPTER FIFTEEN: DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME_**

 ** _Authors Note: Chapter is best read listening to 'Don't Forget About Me' - Cloves_**

There's this thing to be said about having time to think, there's a big problem with it. Because you have all this time to create scenarios and conversations in your head. You have all of this time to fill the other side of the conversation with the other person saying things you want to hear. You spend all of this time trying to prepare yourself for what will inevitably hurt you. You don't want to hear 'I can't do this', but that hasn't stopped Alison reciting Emily saying that in her head over and over, thought out hundred different conversations. She doesn't know when she's going to see Emily again, she doesn't know how she's going to feel. All she knows is that she'll talk to that girl… even if it kills her. Granted she's sure it won't come to that. But here she is, the day after she broke down in Aria's arms walking into RHS like there's nothing wrong with the world. She looks around and sees students laughing, and gossiping. When she makes it into the main corridor she's met with teachers talking and the hustle and bustle of students making their way through the warren that are the hallways of RHS. It's a sight that reminds her that life goes on, her world may feel like it's turning into a ruin. But the world just keeps spinning. She knows she should be comforted by that, she just can't bring herself to feel it.

Alison walks quickly to the teachers common room, knowing she's pushing on being late to this morning's staff meeting. She would have been here on time, but the thing about being pregnant… mornings can be difficult. This morning had been particularly difficult, she spent most of it sitting next to her toilet trying to settle her stomach. She sat there cursing any woman who doesn't 'have bad morning sickness'. Because her's has been hellish, and she's being doing it alone. She thought maybe that wouldn't be the case after her and Emily talked about it, _I guess I was wrong_ , was all she could repeat to herself as she sat next to her toilet.

But that doesn't matter now, she's at work. The one place she can get away from A.D, from the other girls, from Emily. The one place she can throw herself into moulding young minds to be better. The one place she can actively not think about the big mess her life has become and just teach. That's exactly what Alison needs today, a day where she can spend it not worrying that she's losing Emily for good. But as she walks into the teachers lounge, she's met with most of them either clapping or leaving. When the crowd of colleagues dies down a bit, Alison can finally see what this fuss is all about. She forgot they were announcing the new head swim coach today. She knew, she just _knew_ who was getting the position. Had she remembered that their first day was today, well she would've just taken a sick day. Despite what she's been telling herself for days now, Alison isn't entirely sure she's ready for this conversation or any conversation with the brunette. She's not sure she's ready to hear Emily rejecting her again. That was the whole reason she waited years to tell Emily how she really felt about her, she's just scared. She stands there, a few feet from the door, unable to find the strength to move. She just stands there, staring at the girl she loves talking to Mrs. Horowitz.

With a wide smile adorning her face, Emily looks around the room briefly. When her eyes land on a blonde standing by the door, her smile fades. She knew she'd see Alison today, she was just hoping that it was going to be with more people around… not just Mrs. Horowitz. "Like I said Emily, we're all really happy to have you here. If you need anything, my office is still in the same place it was when you were a student here. Good luck" the other woman said with a warm smile before she made her leave for the start of classes. Leave the room for herself and the blonde and a stifling tension. She doesn't know what to say, she still isn't sure how she feels. Anger is still winning out, but she's got so many different thoughts swirling around her head right now, she doesn't even know where to start. When Emily's eyes meet Alison's she feels her stomach sink when the blonde looks down at her hands, unable to look the new swim coach in the eye.

"Are you going to tell me why you won't answer any of my calls" the blonde asks in a hushed tone. She raises her eyes again to look at Emily, trying to gauge whether she can tell what the other woman is thinking. Unfortunately all she's met with is a steely gaze, not a smile, not a frown, nothing. Before either of them could get a word in the bell for first period rings.

"I should get to the pool" is all Emily could manage and she grabs her bag and walks past the blonde. She shudders when she walks past the blonde and gets a hit of her vanilla perfume, a smell that is so Alison.

"Emily-" Alison tries, but the brunette makes it out into the halls of the school before Alison could grab hold of her. She can feel her eyes welling up at the confirmation that she's probably right, she probably _is_ losing her love. She takes a deep breath and makes her way to her classroom, ready to teach her senior class all about the art of deception. Something she's very well versed in. She's going to spend the whole time deceiving them, making them think she's okay and put together, when the truth is she's falling apart on the inside.

* * *

She holds her stopwatch in her hand, fidgeting with it as she tries to put her team together for the next meet, her first meet which is next week. They're a good group, with some real potential to be as great as her team was back in the day. They just need someone to push them harder. But as she looks at the chart in front of her, she can't focus. All she can think about is how sad Alison sounded, how sad her eyes were. And she wants to throw up, because she's the root cause of all that sadness. She's spent the last couple of days just wishing they could be happy, just for a little bit more. She knew realistically that A was still out there, lurking, planning. She'd just been living in her bubble. The one where her first love and best friend declared her love for her. The one where she could just kiss Ali and not be scared she was going to be rejected. Now the tables have completely turned. She could see it in Ali's eyes earlier this morning in the teachers lounge. She could see how hurt and scared she was. There was something else Emily saw in Ali's eyes that she couldn't put her finger on. She still can't which is why she's standing in the middle of her office completely distracted from what she's supposed to be doing. She's spent the last half an hour in the same spot, its only when she hears the faint knock of her office door is she brought back to the real world.

She coughs and looks around at the door to see one of her very best friends standing there with a small smile on her face.

"Spencer, hey… what are you doing here?" Emily says in a voice laced in surprise.

"Well, you haven't been answering your phone for days and I got worried. The discharged me this morning, so I thought I'd take things into my own hands. You can't hide anymore Fields, spill" Spencer says as she slowly wades her way to the swim coaches desk and perches herself on the edge of it, studying Emily's every move, and every facial expression.

"If I wanted to talk about it Spence, I would've picked up the phone. Right now, I'm busy trying to put this team together" Emily says shortly. She loves her friends deeply, she just wishes they weren't so invasive all the time.

Spencer lets out a short laugh before responding "Ah huh. And by 'put the team together' you mean stare at your whiteboard blankly".

With that Emily takes in a deep breath, _damn it Spencer._ "Fine, I'm working through some stuff. But like I said to Hanna and my mother, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. So if you're okay… which you are okay right?" Emily stops to for a response, Spencer just gently nods, "Great, then you can go back to the barn and rest. Call me if you need anything".

"Are you going to answer your phone if I ring this time?" Spencer replies bluntly.

This makes Emily chuckle, "Yes, I promise. Now I really do have to get this done. And with that the younger Hastings girl makes her exit. But before she makes it to the door Emily gets her attention once more, "For the record Spence, I'm so glad your really okay. If _you_ need to talk about your stuff. I am here, I'm always here", the two girls exchange a small smile and a moment later Emily is left to her own devices again. This time though, she's more willing to throw herself into making this team better. She's willing to do anything to get her mind of Alison Lauren Dilaurentis.

* * *

The bell for last period rings through the halls of RHS and Alison dismisses her juniors for the day. When the last student passes through her classroom door she rushes to close it. Once she does she slowly makes her way to her desk chair and slumps into it, leaning forward to rest her head in her hands. She's had to reign her emotions in all day in front of her colleagues and her students. But as soon as that last student left her classroom, she's off the clock. She can officially be Alison again, and all Alison can feel herself wanting is to cry, or yell, or crumble into a heap. Any of those seem like solid options for her right about now. Unfortunately this is one of those moments when old Ali shines through, the one where she can't show her weaknesses in public. _You can crumble, just not here Ali. Not here._

So she hastily gathers all of her belongings and the papers she has to mark and makes her leave. As she turns around from locking her classroom door she freezes. Her whole body is frozen in it's spot. Because all she can see in the empty hallway is her. All she can see is an equally stunned Emily. They stand there for what felt like hours just staring at the other. Neither of them wanting to move, they didn't want the moment to end. You could see it on both of their faces, the conflict, the hurt.

After a while Alison watched Emily start to turn around and leave and she snapped. She wasn't sad anymore, she was upset, she was hurt and she wanted Emily to know it. She wanted Emily to know just how much she's hurt her.

"Don't you dare walk away from me again Emily, not again" she lets out in her booming voice. "Don't you dare ignore me again. I'm right here. I'm right here and I _need_ you to tell me what I did. What did I do that was so horrible that you can't even look at me!" Alison yells out, she can feel her eyes welling and she knows she won't be able to keep these tears at bay for long.

Emily stands there shocked, she didn't expect to bump into Alison, and she sure as hell didn't expect this. For the blonde to sound so broken. As she stands there listening to the blonde she finds herself lost for words. She still can't bring herself to tell Alison what she knows, and she knows she's done a terrible thing, something she doesn't know if she can forgive herself for. So she does what she does best, she starts to walk away.

"Please don't walk away from me again. Emily!" she yells in a panic. Which was enough to get the brunettes attention. "I can't do this. I really can't, not without you. Okay? So whatever it is just _please_ don't walk away" Alison stands there breathing heavily, trying to reign in her emotions. Unfortunately the pregnancy makes that incredibly difficult for her.

"I don't know what to say Alison" is all Emily can manage. She knew she couldn't completely ignore the blonde, not anymore, not whilst she's this upset. All Emily can find herself wanting to do is to walk up to Ali and hold her. But she knows right now she can't.

"Something Emily! Just say something" Alison responds in frustration, the tears that were welling earlier finally falling down her cheeks freely.

"I _can't_ Ali, I can't talk to you about this" Emily says in exasperation, trying to convey how trapped she's feeling about all of this.

"You know what? I'm done. I've given you so many chances to tell me why you abandoned me in that OBGYN's. I came to you, I gave you the space I through you needed. I've given you time. And I can't do that any more. I've been giving you time I don't really have right now. So I get it okay. I got your message loud and clear Emily. You _can't do this._ So I'm not going to make you. Decision made. Now I guess we can both get on with our lives" Alison responds, feeling her voice give out on her right at the end. She didn't want it to come to this, but she can't keep doing this. At least she can't be doing it right now. This back and forth between her and Emily. She knows how she feels about her, but maybe they're just not meant to be together as lovers. So she readjusts her bag on her shoulder and she rushes past Emily.

"Ali-" the brunette starts to stop her, she tries to grab hold of her arms but the blonde just shakes herself free and makes her way out of the school.

So there Emily stands, completely alone in the main hallway of RHS. Her stomach is turning on herself and she knows she's going to be sick so she rushes into the nearest toilet. She makes it to the first cubicle she can and she empties the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. This isn't what she wanted, she didn't want to hurt Ali like that, not _her_ Ali. She can see it, that look in Ali's eyes she's spent all day trying to put her finger on. Ali wasn't just hurt, she wasn't just sad. She was losing hope.

She was losing hope and it was all her fault.

 **Authors Note: So here it is! Another update. I am so so so sorry it's taken me so long to get this story updated. But the nature of my job means I tend not to have so much to write. Which has been so hard because I do love this story.**

 **So here it is, the two girls finally came face to face. Not the reunion you had all hoped for huh?**

 **How unsatisfying would that be if they just rushed back into each others arms. The both have insecurities and they both have their individual issues. I think for them to come back together they'll need to find a way to come to some kind of resolution as Alison and as Emily before they make a resolution as Alison and Emily.**

 **I can't promise I'll update quickly, thought I would love too. I have ten chapters mapped out and let me tell you. It's gonna get good!**

 **Thanks for sticking round guys! Gotta find a way to keep Emison alive huh?**


End file.
